REFLECTION ....

I cannot believe that it has been two weeks already !!!!!

How can that be possible ? Two weeks since Gracie was born .... I have been so busy trying to get caught up on sleep and feeding little Grace that I haven't had much time to blog. So, since we finnallllllllly found the secret to Gracie sleeping better, I finally can make good on my promise to fill you all in on her birth. This may be long, but I am hoping you'll read. :O)

(the belly before birth)

The date was Tuesday, Novemer 6th, and as I had blogged; we were due to be at the hospital Promptly at 7 am the next morning - the 7th; for the amniosentesis and scheduled c-section. I had on purposely picked that date because it would have been my Grandma's birthday. So I diligently scrubbed and cleaned the house all of Monday and Tuesday, entriquitly working my way out the door with the mop. Once everything was perfect - we then left Tuesday afternoon for the hotel in Rochester - near the Mayo Clinic. The kids enjoyed playing in the pool and my son tinkered on the computer. Soon it was time for bed and the morning dawned wayyyyyy before it was time. Or so, it seemed anyway. Everyone got ready, ate breakfast and then we left for the hospital. I was nervous, I wanted to puke. You all know from my previous blogs how I really did not want a c-section, I wanted to run away- far away.

So upon arriving at the hospital, we got registered for the amniosentesis. This was being done to determine the maturity of Gracie's lungs in order to see if she was even ready for delivery at that time. Pretty quickly they came back to get me, Adam came back into the room with me and they got things set up, I was still quite nervous about the whole thing .... the doctor came in and did the ultrasound, got some neat pictures and I started to cry ... now I freaked the nurse out because she thought she was hurting me, but in all actuallity, I was crying not because I was hurt in any way - but because I was just still NOT wanting the c-section. They did the amnio ---- no big deal, just felt like a bee sting or something, no real pain. Then they told us it would be about two hours for the results and if we could give them our cell number or wait in the waiting room that would be great. UMMMMMMMMM - FIVE HOURS LATER !!!!!! Ahem ..... they finally told us that her lungs were mature enough and that we could go ahead with the scheduled c-section. I was soooooooo frackin' hungry - I swear to you ... I think I must have been dehydrated to because I wasn't feeling so hot, they told me not to eat or drink anything after midnight and I hadn't ... so once I told them I didn't feel so well, they said they would have to take time to give me an IV. But obviously, I didn't care. Then we got the kids together - Adam was told where to go and he went to get the kids situated in the family waiting area, and they took me to get me prepared. It was about 2:30 PM now and Adam told me that no one was in the family area - so, I was glad that the kids had the whole area to themselves. The nurses came in and gave me a gown (eww, I hate that part) and got me set up on an IV ... no big deal, no big whoop - but AGAIN ... I started to cry, and cry and cry .... now I am not a crier ... usually .... and the poor nurses must have thought I was either insane or that they were for sure killing me, but it was not the needles that I was caring about, I was STILL scared about the c-section .... I did not want it. So one nurse - started to talk to me about it and I told her that with my last one (Cameron) I felt like a slab of beef laid out on the table being hacked to pieces - without my consent. Cameron's birth was an emergency c-section and one that I HATED E.V.E.R.Y minute of ..... I did not want to go through that again. It scared me immensely, I hated the big lights - bright sterile room - curtain over your face thing - THE WHOLE THING. It took me along time to get into my head after the c-section with Cam that I had in fact actually had him .... my mind kept telling me (I swear) that he wasn't mine - I hadn't had him yet .... all along I was waiting for labor to really happen. I hated it. Then after all of that I had post partum depression after that. My hormones went insane and I had to be on meds to get them back to normal. Doctor said it happens to some c-section patients ..... another reason I did not want it. It was awful.

So anyway -after telling the nurse all of that - she was so nice in listening to me while crying, she went out of the room - she was gone for a bit of time and I walloed in some self pity for a bit. Then -ALL OF THE SUDDEN - some doctor, I had not seen before comes SWOOPING in from out of no where - his name was Dr. Amols - he was a younger guy (maybe 30) and he says to me ... " I read your charts ..... THIS IS NOT WHAT YOU WANTED, WAS IT" ?????? Welll, DUH --------- my response was "UH - NO ..... It isn't. (don't have to ask me that twice) Then he says to me .... "We want to try to get it done the way you want it - don't we" ? :o) OOOOH, Dr. Amols - you are my new best friend !!!!! :O)

He told me though that they have things that had to be changed but he would see what they could do, and if it could be done - it would be done. :O) I was so happy, atleast some one had heard me and it could be atleast tried - you know. I was being heard. :O) Adam then went to tell the kids what was going on and take them down to the cafeteria to get a bite to eat .... it was just after 3:30 PM now. The doctor came back into the room and told me they wanted to take some blood and they wanted to test my platelette levels - however the platelette people that were downstairs leave at 4pm so if I still wanted to do it regular that it may have to be tommorrow. (Um, Yeaaaaaaaaaa - duh, I still want it done regular.) Sooooo - at around 4 pm he came back and said that they can only do the regular delivery if I agree to do the PUBS test the next morning. (The PUBS test was to determine the baby's platelette counts - they go into the umbillical cord through my belly with a needle, like am amnio - just riskier) Adam came back into the room just then and after discussing it, we decided that we would go ahead with that and try to have Gracie with a regular delivery. The doctor assured me that there still is the chance of a c-section though ... if her platelette levels were way down (under 50,000) then I would most likely not be able to have her vaginally because the pressure on the head could cause a bleed in her brain. I know that - but we opted to still try the PUBS and go for the V-Bac. Sooooo - they gave me a room upstairs and told me that in the morning, I would get the PUBS at 10 AM - then we could see which way we'd go with delivery. :O) I was still happy - sure, a little aprehensive, but happy. Once they got me all settled in my room, they temporaily took out the IV and told me I could order a dinner. YUM-O ..... I was still pregnant here and foood was calling my name ! Adam decided that the kids had been so good all day that he wanted to take them for dinner and to go swimming back at the hotel. I really wished that he didn't have to go, but he had to. So alone I sat for some quiet - in the room, the nurses would periodically check on me, I watched some tv, ate my dinner and fell asleep.

Morning came all to soon, and chaos insued. No one seemed to know what was going on or what they were doing. One nurse would say one thing then another would say something else. At 10 Am I was supposed to go for the PUBS .... I like to be on time, but the nurses are telling me that they want for me to go and donate my platelettes first - before I go to do the PUBS. I was dumbfounded as I had heard nothing about it previously - so they called the doctor in to talk to me about it - and it seemed as though they didn't have any platelettes that would match mine, so I would need to donate some of mine incase .... and it woud have to be done or it would nix everything planned. SOOOOOO- once again, I was being wisked away to something else. Adam had just arrived and the nurses told me they'd fill him in while I was down in the donation center. I swear to you it took just over two hours to get done, but it seemed like allllllllllll day ! I felt closterphobic in their little room, and the nurses were nice - other wise I would have gone nuts - but as soon as it was done, they counted my platelettes, and I got to go back to my room. My platelette count was great - so no worries there - so after a bit more time I was assured that the PUBS would be performed. Adam finally found his way back up to me - the kids were in the family area alone again - watching a movie. Finally about an hour after lunch, they finally came to tell me that they were preping the area for me and we'd be doing the procedure in about 10 minutes. They wanted the IV put back in and a new gown on me .... 10 minutes later .... they came to get me, gave me a cap to wear, gave Adam a cap to wear and took me to the room to get preped. The room looked just like an operating room, cold sterile, bright and white. SCARY ! :o( It is no secret that it freaks me out. I was teary, but it really was no big deal - I was scared more for Gracie than myself. I did not want anything to go wrong with getting the platelettes from the umbillical cord. They talked to me and the doctors were nice, they said it would take less then 5 minutes to get her counts back and that they need to be over 50,000 for a vaginal delivery. So, not 5 minutes later, it was done - not as much pain as I had anticipated, and they screamed out 126,000 !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The platelette count was 126,000 !!!!! :O) Woo - Hoo - I could have my natural delivery !!!! :O)

Almost immeadiately after that procedure they told me they'd take me down to Labor and delivery ... they'd induce me and get things started. It was Thursday (the 8th) and it was about 3PM . Adam went to tell the kids how everything went, and to make sure all was ok .... the nurses told me that they'd get my bags from upstairs - as I would most likely get another room after all was said and done. I really didn't care to switch rooms so often, but whatever.

So, they did take me to labor and delivery. They got me all hooked up on the heartbeat monitor and took my BP ...temp, etc. Gave me yet another gown, a new IV, got me all situated in the room - in the bed, gave me some warm blankets and told me that they had people to talk to me before the doctor came in. I talked to the anistesiologist - in case I wanted an epidural - I talked to about what seemed like 40 other people .... Adam came in a while later - he'd taken the kids to eat before and now that everything was fine with them again he could be by me. I was glad.

Before long it was 6 PM .... all this seemed to go so quickly, yet take so long too. They finally started me on Pitosin .... this was to induce the labor. It was pretty quick in giving me the contractions .... so I assumed it would be no time before Gracie would be here with us.

WELLLLLLLLLLLLL, I REALLLY tried to not be a sissy !!!!! But after about two hours of contractions every other minute and me only being dialated to 4 cm .... I had HAD enough !! You may never hear this from me again, but I was a sissy ! I GOT AN EPIDURAL !!!

WWWWWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE !!!!

OMG ..... HEAVEN people, heaven ! Sure it felt pretty odd at first, like I was paralyzed, but it was actually pretty neat !!!! I felt nothing !!!!! WWWWEEEEEEEEEE !!! :o) I would recommend this to someone if labor lasted a while, but I did try to do it naturally first. All of my other labors were alot less longer than this - so they were done natural. (except Cam's) so, I am sorry, I am a sissy one time ! lol ! :O) But hey, atleast it felt better. AND ??? guess what I did for a while - while I waited for the dilation to occur ??? I got some sleep ! ha ha ha !!!! How bazaar is that ?!

Well at about 9 PM the decided to break my water - things with the pitosin weren't happening fast enough, so they did that. EWWWWW, it felt icky ! Sorry, never had it just goosh out with the others, so that was interesting ! My legs were still sleepy-ish, but atleast now I had control over them , so I could lift up and down and I still felt nothing. Too cool. Adam went to check o the kids again after that - got them a snack, they were watching a movie - still alone in the family area - being good. I fell asleep again and when Adam came back he turned on a movie for him to watch in my room, I wasn't interested in watching anything, I felt so sleepy. He was so tired too, I cold tell. It was a realllllly long series of days we'd had. I felt bad that everyone was so tired and waiting on me basically. Geeze, normally with the others this would be over by now, but now it was just after midnight --- the 9th now .... and still no Gracie. She sure didn't want to come out, she must have been pretty comfy in there !!! :O)

Well, then all of the sudden - it was 1 Am I think ... they said they were watching on a monito and could tell it was time for me to deliver her .... I said ok .... um, (still not feeling anything) WEIRD ..... I said "If you say so" ......

THEN AT 1:31 AM ~ FRIDAY, NOVEMBER 9TH OUR LITTLE ~GRACIELLA SOFIA ~ WAS BORN INTO THE WORLD !

6 lbs. 4 Oz. 18 Inches long.

Everything was perfect, couldn't have asked for better. Maybe I should have opted to not do the epidural, but other than that I am so thankful for the way everything turned out.

On Sunday evening we all got to come home together !

I wanted to THANK all 20 of my greatest friends who left comments for me on my page after my first posting !!! Thank You all very much !!! :O) They meant alot to US ! THANK YOU !

Well, I have more to write about - things since we got home, but you know who just woke up and wants to eat ...... so off I am ! Be back soon !!!

TAMMIE