A Breakfast Full of Blessings ...

Yesterday, I got the beautiful blessing of meeting the person I most admire, for the 3rd time. At a Hearts At Home conference in Rochester, MN. We sat by eachother at breakfast and shared thoughts and feelings with one another for quite some time.

Many of you know I admire Michelle immensely. I have heard comments before about how I must be cult minded, be obsessed or have some warped sence of thinking because I admire such a woman. When people say such comments to me, I tend to want to see who they admire and usually find it is someone such as Madonna or Lady Gaga. So the fact that I admire her and hear about it, really is nothing more to me than a compliment because she sets a wonderful biblical example for me to follow. For this, I am proud to say I would be honored to follow no one else but her for an example of how I would want my life to be as well. "Our Friends are our Future".

Last time I met Michelle in March, I was so overwhelmed that I lost my will to speak. I was so afraid I would say something stupid and end up regreting the time I had to spend with her. Either way I did though, because I had chosen to say nothing. This time was much different however, I had prayed to the Lord to just put 'mind over matter' and speak to her as if I already knew her, and as if she really was already a good friend of mine though we had only ever just met a few times before this. The outcome was so much more receptive as we spoke. We conversed about how she had never been to Minnesota and I told her of our praying to move somewhere south if it were in God's will. We spoke of cars and seat belts and she even remembered the fact that we had met in Colorado Springs first when I went to visit my friend Wendy Jeub. She had said she was there such a short time because she had decided to go home to be with Josie, so certainly I know I was blessed by the interaction. We had a small chance to speak of how I had came to admire or hear about her and how our children are all doing.

I was able to share with Michelle and Jim Bob some of my life as I feel I already know about them so well, which was such a blessing. Most people who are friends with me already know my "story" of coming back to Christ just because I saw them on the TV in 2004. For those that do not however, I will share, but make it short. I was raised Christian, but in time and with lifes circumstances I became rebellious to the ways of the Lord. In 2004 when they appeared for the very first time on TV, for the show by Discovery, entitled "14 Children and Pregnant again", it was the first time I had seen or ever heard of Michelle. It was also the same night I got down on my knees and gave my life back to Christ. I KNEW at that moment, by seeing Michelle when I did, that - THAT, was something I deeply missed in my own life and I wanted to have back. I didn't then nor do I now, want to be Michelle, but I want to be a better ME. A vision of what God sees me to be, and maybe in time, if in his will, he will bless me with similar love I have felt through her, for him, for others and life in general, even though, we had never met at that time.

In real life now, having met her several times, she extrudes such a true grace, humility and real peace about her that I instantly felt she would be someone I could trust and that I would consider a TRUE friend. Something, ordinarilly and honestly, I do NOT find very easy to do. I found it so much easier to speak and carry on an actual conversation with her than I had expected. She looked in my eyes with concern for what I was saying, and that to me, shows great character that someone is really hearing what you are saying and taking the time to listen to you, learning and sharing in your life and heart, as well as with thier own. I don't see this trait too often with others these days and find it hard to connect with them when I don't feel they are really taking the time to be respectful of the one speaking.

Again, I was blessed by a beautiful, caring woman who made me feel special, took the time to remember me and made me feel loved. She may never know how much I sincerely do appriciate the interactions I keep having put into my life of meeting her, but I do. I know it has to be a work of God because I find there is no other way to explain things. No one would know that through her, I would listen with an open heart and seek him, but the Lord himself. The similar things we believe in and have in common make things so much easier to relate to her and it is always interesting to learn something new about someone you greatly look up to and see as a mentor in life.

Before breakfast was over she told me I should make sure to eat more protein, we exchanged some info, a big, wonderful hug and she asked Jim Bob to snap the picture of us above. I handed her the picture of Sawyer I carry in my wallet and then took some pictures of her with my friend Sabrina, while we had a few giggles over the matter.

As dinner approached last night I had hopes of seeing and speaking with them again, however noticed throughout the day that one lady working at the convention, imparticularly, had taken an extreme dislike for me, so when dinner approached I was asked to go on home. I had 'monopolized enough of thier time'. For sure, I was in fact disappointed, but more over in the fact of her reactions instead of that of not getting the chance to dine with Michelle and Jim Bob again. I knew it was no doing of thier own, but honestly I had hurt feelings that one would see me so harshly and not speak to me about the matter instead of being so rude. I really have a hard time understanding those kind of thought processes and dislike for others. It will never be something I understand.

In the end though, I had a VERY blessed day. I got to spend some time with some wonderful other people throughout the day, make some new friends and have a heart to heart discussion with my dear and lovely friend; Sabrina. I figure in time, if it is in God's will, I will get the chance to speak with my "hero" and her family again someday. If he sees fit it will come to pass, but faith includes faith in his timing. I had such a blessed time though that I can do no more than to be thankful, with a greatful heart for the people and experiences the Lord has put into my life. Last year at this time I would have seen things from a totally different perspective. Gods way isn't always our way, or ways we understand, but he will try to use what has happened in our lives for our good, if we allow him to do so.

Thank you Lord for a wonderful blessed breakfast with some wonderful people and new friends. I will forever be grateful for all you have done and are doing in my life. All glory to you !

Tammie <3