Well, I hadn't planned to do a blog today, but as it is a chilly - yet humidly muggy and rainy today, my plan to clean out the garage has been scraped, so, I decided to do one anyway.
Seems as though I stirred up quite a discussion amoungst homeschooling people after my blog yesterday. I had a box full of comments from people this morning on thier thoughts and most were from people I didn't even know. I had no idea that it was such a controversial thing. So, clearly let me explain why my hubby and I have been pondering this idea for a few years now, please try to understand our point of veiw.
1) First, our main reason is religion. Children are not taught the bible in school and they do not pray. It is our objective to have this as part of thier everyday curriculum. I understand that some of you do not believe in the things that we do, but I have strong bonds to faith and I believe that it is our choice to teach our children these ideals in thier lives. I, myself am a pretty strong baptist, I would like to think that I do not force my opinions upon others, however, we do try to stay away from people that are of bad (negative) or wordly influences. If we choose not to involve our selv's in some forms of what others call knowledge, then that is our choice. After all, just because people do things, don't mean that we have to do the same - we are the ones who answer to the Lord in the end for our own actions not for the actions of others. The key is to resist even the smallest of temptations, even when they are right in your face.
2)Second, Our goal was to achieve a closer family unit. We achieve this as a whole a lot during the summer when the kids are home, we have particular set schedules and such and no outside influences are a part of our lives. When school starts again in the fall every year we face the same questions from the kids ... " why can't we watch that" or "why can't we do that" .... "why can't I go - unsupervised - over to so and so's house", go to this party or do this or that, wear this or have that .... or there is always "Well, so and so gets to do that, I should too" ...Ummmmm, NO ! We STRONGLY disagree. Just because someone does drugs that does not mean that you have to .... because they all talk about drinking here and even the 9th graders do it or get caught smoking does not mean that you have to. The world is chock FULL of people who were not taught to learn discipline with temptations ... learning the bible, reading it and praying everyday is a good first start to learn, after all it is God's instruction book for life. Now, we do let our kids interact with other children whose families beliefs are similar to our own, people from our church and youth groups. We have other families with similar goals that we know. We no longer let our children go unsupervised ANYWHERE ... and they will not be allowed to do so until they are 18. If temptation is there, like I did, it can be sought out. I refuse to entertain the idea. We also have a few reasons as to why we have hardened our ways of feeling to others, so please let me explain. ~*~ We have had really bad experiences since moving to Wisconsin and most are with people from here - the first year we let our daughter Brittany (now 13) go to and sleep over at a friends house ... it was supposed to be a birthday party sleep over, however at around 11 pm that evening she called home to tell us the Mom was drunk and left with friends to go to a bar in town, leaving a teen girl whose friends were over drinking in charge. Innapropriate things were happening, she felt uncomfortable and wanted to come home immeadiately. The second time she went to another friends house only to call again and tell us she was on her way home (something we required) ONLY FOUR hours later she was not home !!!!!!!!! We had to call the police and have them find the parents - which were drinking and told her they would drive her home - only they went to someone else's house with her and thier kids not telling us and told her they'd take her home after. 4 hours after !!!! We were so pissed, and they didn't even see what the big deal was. So needless to say - the answer is an automatic and resounding NO unless we KNOW the parents fully and these type of actions are NOT done around my children at ANY time ! Now, growing up, I did not have very good experiences even though my parents claimed to be church go-ers. If you've ever read my blogs "Tagged" or " When the sh** hits the fan" you'll understand that I cannot and will not let similar circumstances present themselves in any way towards my children. I understand that some of you feel that homeschooling is some form of me over - protecting my children and it may actually be a VERY small amount of it, however - if they are not around the people who would cause such trauma, it would not be an issue. I felt my parents neglected me in that area and while I may present some form of overprotectiveness, I can assure you that I take my parenting job seriously and will do whatever I can to protect them.
3) Sort of mentioned above, we feel that other outside influences such as TV or radio play a big part as well in children attitudes today. Just because the stuff is out there to watch, don't mean it has to be veiwed. Does anyone REALLY understand the full impact of what children take in each day, either through radio, TV, internet, school or peers. I saw a show a few nights back as I flipped through aimlessly once again - where some people were dancing - wearing next to nothing and doing suggestive or provactive moves. To me, this is unacceptable veiwing for children these days to watch, and conversely; I don't even think that some adults need to watch. What show or commercial anymore doesn't have something in it that has to do with sex or drinking .... people doing mean or horrible things to others and it is all supposed to be veiwed as ok. I just don't understand myself, why more people don't see it. I- myself didn't see it much until we made the conscious decision to turn off the TV. Our children are not allowed to watch most of what is on anymore. No Disney channel, no regular channels, and 3 hours a week is now thier limit. Instead we do bible studies together or play a game, read books or spend time doing crafts or engage ourselv's in some sort of skill that can be learned for a later use. I mean I really feel that the life people had years ago, with no electricity, no TV and such - made better people. Families were familes ... they spent time together and not with video games, not with friends or stuck in thier rooms. Now, don't go getting me wrong, I don't wish to be Amish, however I do like the simplistic ways of dealing with certain things. Is it really necasarry ALL that we have today ????? Why not teach our kids a real trade instead of teaching them to sit on the sofa and watch tv or play video games all the time. With anything though moderation is the key, so I really admire people who can stick to a regime of having a little of everything sometimes. .... However alot of people today don't do that - thier kids come home from school, go right off to thier rooms, zone out in front of the TV -etc - no one eats dinner together anymore and they are spending all thier time alone. Some unsupervised even while parents stay at work or go out to "party" all the time. Only a few parents that I know from the public school are home anymore when thier kids arrive home. Duh, don't you remeber being a kid ???? It is even worse today - I hate to see us all as old folks regretting what we can change now.
4) Reason 4 for us is that we feel that alot of teachers anymore just are not doing thier jobs. We've had one teacher so preoccupied with her at home life that the students were lacking in what they needed to be doing. Another teacher called my special needs daughter "stupid" ... without even understanding her condition - she gave up. Yet another teacher would come to school and talk to my child about the evening tele programs they are not allowed to watch and wear shirts in which NOTHING was contained, if you know what I mean. Inexcusable. To me, these teachers should really move on to another carreer, if life at home - getting divorced - or having issues with not even liking children is your "thing" .... you should not be teaching my child. My children DESERVE to be taught proper education by someone they can look up to, not that they have to dislike or spend time questioning. Nor to learn things other than what they were meant to go to school for in the first place.
5) Anymore school has become a fashion show or a contest of who has what -oh, I got this and you don't, etc. Excuse me, but isn't school a place to go to - to learn ??? I mean learn about math and reading etc. Not how important it is that you have this or that, how much money so and so has - that they got the latest i-pod or cell phone. Don't get me wrong, I have always bought my kids name brand clothes, they have always had them brand new and not used, but I don't buy them for people to like them, and who cares if your hair isn't done just so on this day for that- my philosophy is - if you don't like me for me, the me - I am on the inside, then don't like me at all, I am not here to blow sunshine up your tooshie or to make sure that YOU have a good day ... if you don't like it toooo bad !!! I try to get my children to realize they don't constantly have to be people pleasers. Furthermore, I will not be a part of having my kids be in some competition for people to like them. I buy them nice clothes because they like them and they deserve to have nice things, not because I want people to like them. If so and so has a cool mom and I am not, well, that is just to bad, then I am badddd mom - I don't care. If so and so gets this or that or does this or that .... I don't care. Do something because YOU want to, not because you have to feel the need to do it to be "cool" or because you are afraid that if you don't, so and so won't like you ...... GRRRRR !
6) I had one message yesterday from someone I don't really know that stated I was thinking home school for selfish reasons. That home schooled moms are all lonely stay at home moms. I couldn't disagree more !!!! You have reasons for your opinions and you are entitled to them - this is America, however, I too have the right to choose my own decision and the decision is one that my hubby and I both agree on. It is one that works for us, and that is okay if it don't work for you, just don't cram it at me. I have never been one to follow, I set my own pace and when someone tells me I can't do something, usually it makes me want to do it more.
7) Our kids do get general outside activities, trust me if you knew our daughter Brittany you'd see that. She is the people person that I am not. In the past 12 years, She has been in dance classes - jazz, tap, ballet, acrobatics, baton ... she does softball, tennis and cheerleading. These are all someting that she has chosen, I do not believe in forcing a child to do activies and sometimes would rather her stay home, but since she was 2 years old - that is her and she wouldn't be who she is today without it. Our other daughter does alot in the church groups, but being that she deals with some special needs issues, she is not as out going as Brittany - things are typically harder for her. Our 16 year old has two jobs, one is at McDonald's in town and the other he works on cars. He wants to get an automotive engineeering degree and so working his own job will help him obtain that, as well as learn to budget his own money accordingly. He is in the 10th grade and even though he is not interested in sports, his dream of cars has always been his main focus. He is alot like I am in the respect that; if you don't like him for him - then too bad !
8 ) Anyway ..... I really don't know what else to say - my friend Sheri summed up a great deal of what I was thinking in one of her comments yesterday - Thank You Sheri - SO, I guess no use to repeat it. I suppose everyone has thier own ideals of what is right for THIER children and that is ok. I try not to be over bearing or too judgemental really .... all of this is OUR opinion, it of course does not mean that you have to even share any thought of it. If everyone in the world were the exact same - wouldn't the world be boring ????? I think so. But then again - that is just me !
Oh well, I hope that helped to clear some of your questions up a bit, if not - please just ask, no need to be snotty, I will gladly answer ... ok? You know we can agree to disagree, we don't all have the same opinons and that is ok !!!
Hope you all have a great Tuesday ! I'll be back tommorrow to blog about something I am sure ! I have totally blogged long enough today !!! Oh my !!!!!
TAMMIE :D
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