I'm sorry, I guess I just didn't realize that the impact that the world has on people anymore. I am not good at people not understanding what it is I am trying to convey. I guess that is why just don't "do" friends or people for that matter anymore. All people thrive on is negativity and trashing others - when they didn't even mean anything by what they were trying to say other than just being themselves. I cannot be other than who I am, and if you don't like it then too bad. For this I will not appologize, however I will appologize for maybe not saying what it is I meant to or what I should have said.
I realize that the people that sent bad messages, the people who sent nasty comments and the people who no longer want me on thier friends list are in no way a big deal. I really shouldn't let it bother me. I know in my head that maybe it is the Lords way of weeding the bad from the good or maybe it happened for a reason. I know that no matter how hard I try I cannot and will not please everyone all the time.... nor do I want to. I know that with other things I have going on here this is just a small stupid idiocincracy, meant to throw me off track.
Why is it that when things are going good or ok, some one always has to put in thier comments and try to ruin it for you ??? Are they jealous ... can they not do it, do they think that it is a weakness ? You know they say people don't like things in people that they don't like in themselves ..... I find this true with myself and I TRY to go and overlook the situation, inspecting it and trying to solve it, but why is it - with me anyway - others do not. I have been told I am a good and loyal person, but yet I never get this in return. I would do anything for anyone, but that never happens to me. For crying out loud, I cannot even get some support from our parents on anything. Most of my family has or is on some sort of drug, living in the inner city of Chicago and when I try to better myself alll I get is trash ???? Even my father says to me "that we belong in a trailer at home not in some fancy shmancy house in the middle of no where."
I just don't get it anymore, I don't understnd people or thier ways. I am sorry, for this I have to now distance myself from this blog thing and try to just focus on "us" here. I cannot let this mess get me down or billow me into my former way of being or the way that I was brought up. I will be back occasionally, but this is not waht I had hoped to achieve by doing or coming to blog ..... I didn't mean to stir up controversy, talk badness about or behind people, or to do other than just try to connect with people - hopefully breaking me out of my shell. It is no wonder that with people like the few I have had to deal with the last few days that I cannot stand to be near anyone anymore. The thought of pondering agrophobia was on my mind years ago - but since having to move up to hell, it might be a reality.
I may be dumb and nieve, but I just don't get it anymore ..... people are just so self absorbed anymore and I cannot deal with that.
That is all I have to say, I wish you all the best. TAMMIE
P.S. I guess that maybe in my next life that I will like to watch half nude women prance across my tv screen, like beer and want to party all the time, like ignoring my children and be more to others than I am to myself or my family .... just tell the Lord to warn me when it's coming so that I can prepare myself.
No comments:
Post a Comment