Well, I am writing this early tonight because I will not be around alot tommorrow ... then, cause I gots something importante to say !
I went and checked Wal-Mart.com to see if they had my book (Duggar's "20 and Counting") so I wouldn't have to go the 50 miles to LaCrosse, but no luck. They will not have the book in stores, so I will be off to Barnes and Nobles first thing in the morn. I have also gotten all my stuff together for Once Upon A Child ... so hopefully I fair well.
Now, I gotta say that I am pretty disheartened. Two "Friends" of mine here over the weekend sent PM's and decided to not be "friends" with me anymore.
Basically the jist was not that we didn't talk much or that either had not been around, but that I am TOO negative.
Now, I am honest, I realize that it IS a problem that I DO have .... I will openly admit that, without a problem !!! Negativity is a bad habit of mine and as habits usually go, they are hard to break. Alot is history oriented and a big problem I have letting go of. However, I also never attested that reading my pages were going to blow sunshine up your ass either ! I have 5 kids and I can be wacky where and when I want. (My page - right ?) I try to be as honest and forthcoming as possible as my life is, and while I am certain that I will not impress or make friends with everyone, I also would like a small amount of consideration that I AM trying and DO want to change. These things WILL not happen over night, and yes, even though I am Christian and don't always do the best with "faith"... but I think I try. Okay, not tooo well sometimes, especially lately, but in all honesty .. I never claimed I was perfect either.
So... while I understand thier decisions and am fine with it, I would greatly appriciate it if anyone else has a problem with me, either don't read what I write or just SERIOUSLY tell me straight up how you feel... don't beat around the bush !!! I am ALWAYS willing to hear anything that someone has to say and am ALWAYS ready to change a problem if somethings need changing.
I will also say that I am sorry if my negativity bothers you. But I can only change as best I can. It will be on my own time and even though my faith is slow, I am confident it will happen eventually.
Most of the time I write EZXACTLY what I feel ! It is pure, raw, emotion ... and also how I vent and deal with the stresses of my life, my illness and my kids.
I do not feel that when I am stressed out (as I have been like the last 6 months) that it IS a true acurate description of the real me ... just seriously alot of rubbish that fills my brain. I get so overwhelmed and make little sence without my medications sometimes that I wanna kick my own ass. lol.
So for those of you that DO understand that I am only human and want to surround myself with better more positive enlightening people and love reading the blogs of my friends here that are that way to me as you all are, I appriciate that so very much. I am trying my best to not be so negative and set a better example of faith, but sometimes when you get in a familiar rut, (bad habit) it is hard to find yourself going with the unfamiliar and doing things differently.
Thank you all again, for reading my blogs, stopping by, sending your cares and concerns and best of all sharing YOUR lives with me as well. Each one of you have NO idea how you all play a part in helping me to be the me that I want to be and how you all make each day bearable for me .. just by letting ME share your life.
I wish I had a better way of showing it.
Ahhh, anyways, I hope that you all have a great Tuesday. :o) I just wanted to get that off my chest.
TAMMIE
*edit*
Added, time was spent this evening talking to one friend after an apology and they explained thier point of veiw and it is understood. Second, the other wasn't actually on my friends list, but I have kept in contact with this person a few years now mainly by PM's.. and this is how the discussion was started. So I just wanted that to be cleared, because I didn't want to point fingers.
* also ... you all know this has been like THE worst year ever here for me, so with my appologies, please excuse me that I stress a bit about it. :O)
Why would people PM you to tell you they don't want to be your friend? That is kinda high-school like, don't you think? Maybe just going away would be enough....just my opinion. I took me 30 years to realize that not everyone was going to like me, and that realization and the acceptance of it has made the last 7 years SO much better!
ReplyDeleteHave fun at the bookstore tomorrow. I could stay in those big ones all day long-especially if there is a Starbucks and I can have my low-fat carmel Frap thingie!
I can honestly say that one of the reasons I became "friends" with you is I can appreciate that you are human and you are honest about it....I would love to read that book, let me know what you think of it. Oh and by the way, I can appreciate how crazy 5 kids get, I have 11 right now, remember?
ReplyDeleteYes, I still have that problem. lol.
ReplyDeleteI DO think it is immature, but was glad that they pointed out WHY... quite actually I might respect that more because I know it is a problem of mine that does exist. but yet, it kinda hurts, I won't lie.
Ah honey...I'm sorry that you've lost friends. Maybe they just can't handle somethings, who knows. It is my personal belief that if we have been given an encouraging spirit then we should use it to encourage others, thus I try to be uplifting and encouraging to others. I find, for myself, that whenever I do this I benefit too.
ReplyDeleteNegativity can only be offset by positive influences, therefore it is understandable that you would want to surround yourself with positive people. You just take your life one step at a time and don't let losing s few friends upset you. I, for one will be here to encourage you for as long as you need or want me to be.
**HUGS**
Thank you guys ! That is so sweet :O)
ReplyDeleteI think its very childish for someone to delete you because they think you are being negative!
ReplyDeleteAs you said..this is your blog..do and say what you want. Your true friends are here for you!((hugs)) Don't let it bother you!!
I hope you are able to find yor book tomorrow and that everything goes well for you at Once Upon A Child. Let me know how the book is when you get done with it!:)
Sweet Dreams!((HUGS)) Luv Ya Gf!
wowzers, well I can only imagine that the people who felt you were too negative had a lot going on in their lives and just needed to be in a positive place.. ?? No excuses for them, just trying to look at the other side of the coin.
ReplyDeleteWierd that I just logged onto Facebook and a friend of mine who is very wise had this on his status: (made me think of you and how you are looking to change things within you):
" You don't need to change th world; you need to change yourself. And you have to do it in your own way because only you have the possibility of knowing yourself"..
Good luck tomorrow at Once Upon a Child and keep working on yourself in your own way and in your own time.. do it for yourself, not for anyone else!
Blogland is nuts sometimes. You just be you Tammie!
ReplyDeleteOUAC isn't very nice to me!! Hope you have better luck.
Those Duggars... I am trying to watch their show T ammoe, I really am. But wow. 18 kids? I no understando.
WTF happened? I tried to write Tammie, not t ammoe. LOL.
ReplyDeleteLOL ... I looked at that too and was trying to figure out what that meant DURRR.... ooh, I do that all the time.. and If I didn;'t proofread, It would look like I was on crack. :O)
ReplyDeleteOOOOH, I LIKE THAT !!!!!! :o) Thank You.
ReplyDeleteHmmm, I thought about why I like them so much and all I can figure is that it is because I was raised basically at church, and around similar people - till a certain age and it feels comforting and like home. Weird huh ?
ReplyDeleteI do just luv how they all get along so well.
Big Hugs Tammie! All i can say is when you have friendships you should accept ALL of the friend. We all have a negative side that can come out and when life is as stressful as it's been for many of us this past year it's only normal to need to vent and get things out. I wouldn't be to worried about those two that deleted you. They obviously aren't your TRUE FRIENDS. If they were, then they'd love and accept you for you. I personally like it that you are so honest and open in your blogs. You are a REAL PERSON, not some fake person that pretends to be Happy ALL of time. Personally I don't like people that are like that because it's not REAL. No one is happy ALL of the time.
ReplyDeleteEnough on that, you have all of us and we luv you just like you are!!!
Have fun today at the book store. Hope you find your book after driving that drive to get it. :)
I agree with Mel, Tammie. This place can get a little nutty at times. But just be true to yourself. Sorry some people are giving you greif. I'm here if you want to listen!!
ReplyDeleteYou can only be you!! I think that you could address it is amazing....I would run with my tail between my legs...I hate confrontation so I never address things like you just did!! Bravo to you!!
ReplyDeleteHave a great day!!
Hugs Tammie.........Im just a puter away!!!
ReplyDeleteAwwwwwwwwwwww first off big hugs to you my friend!! I appreciate you!!! No one is perfect and you being Negitive is human. I like that about you. It's no fun to go to someones blog or be friends with someone that doesn't seem real! You have a lot going on and I know it's hard to be postive with so much going on but you are trying. You don't need more added stress on top of all your dealing with you know!!! So just be you Tammie it's your blog and you do with it what you want!! I am always here to listen and will be here always!!! Big huge hugs your way!!
ReplyDeleteIt's your blog, you keep writing whatever you want to. I'll keep reading it. ;)
ReplyDeletehehehe...here I thought you had a new nickname for her Mel! LOL
ReplyDeleteI don't have good luck at Once Upon a Child either. I swear, I'll take in a whole box full of good stuff and they will take like 2 shirts or something. I gave up after the third time!
Tammie, Don't take it to heart about the deletes. You gotta understand, that just like real life, sometimes people try and be friends but they just don't hit it off. Jen had a good point, those two people possibly have a lot going on in their own life and maybe they, like you, need to surround themselves with more positive people.
I did want to say that I loved the blog, it was really well written,and I am proud of you for standing up and saying 'yeah, I have issues, but I'm working on them!!'.........cuz don't we ALL? :)~
Seriously... was it necessary for them to tell you that they didn't want to be friends in a PM? I would prefer to just be deleted.
ReplyDeleteBut anyway, the whole reason behind having a blog is to get your feelings out and you should be able to do that without worrying about your blog friends. We're not here to judge you, just give little tidbits that might help you based on what we're reading about your life.
Hugs! Well it just shows that they weren’t really your friends. Friends stick by you no matter what!
ReplyDeleteWow, this place never seems to amaze me! Just remember, this is your blog!
ReplyDeleteAs for the Duggars...I just don't like them!! Two kids, and I'm ripping my hair out, and raising my voice...they have 17 (almost 18) and are so quiet and respectful, if I had just a smidgen of their patience....
I am sorry that you have been having a hard time here. I hope that it gets better for you around here!
ReplyDeleteI am not feeling the Duggars for some reason. I think of you every time that I see their commercials!
I don't think ur negative ALL the time...you've had a very rough year.. one of the things I really like about u is that ur completely honest and Human!! What ya see is what ya get! Stay the way u r!
ReplyDeleteYes, indeed it is..
ReplyDeleteYou never know why people stop coming to your page or what you might have said....why people don' tcomment, or what people think of you.. and you really shouldn't care Tammie..( I need to take my own advice sometimes) you have a lot of support here from people who do care about you!
I know what you mean about peoples around here at times...
ReplyDeleteGlad its all over and done with....
We each have a choice to read or not and the way I look at it is that your life isnt always going to be this way. You are going through some rough stuff, raising five kids and trying to stay married and dealing with health stuff. That's alot.
There are many times when you make me smile or laugh and those greatly overshadow the rough patches. I think you are a genuine friend and that's all that matters to me.
So how did you do at Once upon a child. I never have luck there...I had clothes that were very gently worn and they always sent me away taking like 3 things. I dont get it. I keep forgetting to go over again and look for things to buy (instead of trade) because they still have clothes that fit Kristin.
Anyway hope you found the book!
Holla at ya laters!
Wow, that is just crazy that they would do that! That sounds so second grade to me! Ugh! Oh well, their loss!!
ReplyDeleteThis is your blog and you have your right to express your opinion or how you feel. Omgosh! I can't believe they told you that you to negative! Geesh!!
I luv 2 read your blogs and think you have a wonderful heart!
Big hUgZ!!!
Wow, that is just crazy that they would do that! That sounds so second grade to me! Ugh! Oh well, their loss!!
ReplyDeleteThis is your blog and you have your right to express your opinion or how you feel. Omgosh! I can't believe they told you that you to negative! Geesh!!
I luv 2 read your blogs and think you have a wonderful heart!
Big hUgZ!!!
Just be you! That is what I like about you! You are who you are and you don't try to hide that on here......blogs are supposed to be about the things going on with you that you want to share...If they don't like what you blog about then don't read it.....I am so glad to have you as a friend keep being you and don't change! hugs....
ReplyDeleteHi Tammie! I must be blind..lol I didnt even see a new blog til this morning.People can be so rude and childish.Just like real life you'r feelings get hurt. I wouldnt let this person bother you though.Theres so many more friends that really care and are good friends.You'r blog is your's and no one has a right to tell you what you can write.I hope you have a good day!!Big huzz
ReplyDelete