WHAT DAY IS THIS ?

Another Monday ..... another day. YEA, it has been a really long week.

Just got back from the visit with Dr. Schanhofer, Gracie is doing well and weighs 7 lbs and 11 oz. now. I noticed this morning that her diapers, the teeny tiny ones are starting to get snug already .... I sure can't believe that time has gone by so fast.

As for myself, today is slightly better - but not much. I am monsterously tired as at about 10 pm last night I got a bug to clean the whole upstairs. My kids are such pigs ... I had told them on Friday ... "DO NOT destroy the upstairs over the weekend" .... so what do I see when I go up there ? Well, what else ... toys and clothes everywhere .... it looked like a closet exploded .... socks under the beds, crumbs all over the floors, junk, JUNK everywhere ... and I had just cleaned it Friday !!! I was soooooo mad, I was fumin' .... so after I ranted and raved about it, I cleaned (Brittany did help me) and it took me/us till about 1 am then I had to go downstairs and clean it up, do laundry, start the dishwasher and take out all the trash. I successfully managed to get the kids Christams tree up in the hall too - so hey, I made some effort. Ho - Ho .... NO ! (still not in a holiday mood)

Today, like I said, I am tired. I am hoping to take a small nap IF (ha ha) I can get Gracie to stay asleep long enough for me to do so. Before the doctors visit earlier - and I mean right before just as I was going out the door, I spilled soda all over myself ... I felt like such a clumsy dope ... I didn't have time to change, what an idiot I am ! The doc surely must think I am scumy but we spent along time talking at Gracie's visit and he did prescribe me something .... none the less, I still feel like a 'cracker' for having to take it. I wish that I didn't have to, but I need some respite from all this hormonal garb ! He wants to see me back on the 21st to see how things are going, so I will be glad to do that. He is such a nice guy - always makes me feel better. I hate this area - but if we ever move I surely will miss him - I have never had a doc like this guy. He is almost too near friend status .. lol ! Gee, now If I wasn't such a doo-fus ! (sp?)

Wanted to say Thank You to you friends who left me such nice comments after yesterdays blog. It was nice to have a few who understand. Most of the time - saying depression - is like the plague ... people act like you have some communicable disease and treat you like your cracked already.... I hate that. Geeze, just because my hormones are going insane - doesn't mean I am. OK, OK.... so it may feel like it occasionally, but you know what I mean .... I think. Anyway .. Thank you. Post partum stuff isn't funny - so maybe in talking about it somehow maybe it can help someone else, I dunno. Even my hubby said to me today: I am glad that the stuff will help you feel better .... so obvioulsy he's noticed this time that I was being different.

Oh, but WHAT would really help me right now ... do you REALLY wanna know ????? Oh - how nice it would be to go on a trip to the USVI's or to the Bahamas ...... anyplace Florida Keys or south basically. I would spend ALL day - pretty literally in the water, the crystal clear water. I would love to snorlkel, or scuba .... it sounds like such fun ! ... Alone, ahhhh ... alone. HEY - I can dream --- can't I ????

OK ..... so back to reality.

It is cold here today, I think 25 - but the sun is peeking out atleast. Snow is covering everything, so looking outside hurts my eyes - it is so bright. Gracie fell asleep in her car seat on the way home from the doc - so I just left her in her seat and I am not taking her out until I am ready - hopefully she'll sleep for some time. That would be nice. I wanna sleep, but who has time - although I MAY get a nap, but we'll see. Cameron is watching SpongeBob right now .... so FOR THE MOMENT.... it is quiet. It never lasts long here anymore, so it is nice to hear nothing for a change. I still have to put up our tree, was thinking about doing it tonight - but will depend on how I feel later ..... I have decided though that I AM NOT putting out anything else we have, I have decided to give a bunch away to Goodwill or whatnot and the rest can stay packed away this year ..... but I will get the tree up..... um - atleast- ugh - that is what I'm hoping.

Well, I think I am going to go for right now .. I may be back later though. I hope that you all have a good day !

TAMMIE