I won't lie - I am scared. Let's get straight to the point.
The doc called me a little bit ago, stunned by how my voice sounded I am sure, he asked how I was doing, and I told him sick - yet again - and he told me he would phone in a prescription for me to save me a trip to the clinic doctor that I didn't know. After that he proceeded to tell me that my colon tests came back good, signs of the Colitis of course, but all there looked good.
Then ? He said they found a spot on the endometrial (sp?) lining of my uterus. It *could* be left over from a miscarriage, a polyp or a cyst ... or you know what. He can't be sure until he looks. and he did NOT like what he saw.
WHAT ? ... WHAT ?
I really do want to cry. My Grandma, Mom and Sister all had cancer AND had to have hysterectomies and I DO NOT want one ! I do not want one ! WHAT if it is cancer ?! OMG !
Either way - he didn't sound pleased - his voice was like almost quivering it seemed and he said that he would call me back because he wanted to see me by this Thursday or Friday ...
I don't want to wait. My brain will configure this into 1000 different scenarios. WHAT am I going to do ?
What would you do ? GAHH !
I think I will go bury my head in a pillow now ....
First, try to relax. I know that is easier said than done, but in all honesty, stressing about it is only going to make you feel worse. There is a very real possibility that it is nothing, but doctors have to present you with the worst case scenario...that's their job.
ReplyDeleteNow, let me say that I am sorry that you had to get that kind of a call. It is scary to get calls from thr dr. I will be thinking of you and sendin you healthy vibes. Take care of yourself and try to find a way to keep yourself calm and relaxed. ((hugs))
I agree that you need to try to relax. I know it's hard but it's only gonna make you feel worse.
ReplyDeleteI agree with them....stressing will not change the outcome. Make the appointment, see what happens, and go from there. Having to have a hysterectomy isn't the worst thing in the world....I know it is so FINAL in one sense, but not as final as the alternative could be, know what I mean? Although I am not sure if I believe it or not, people say God doesn't give us more than we can handle. You will be fine no matter what. Keep us posted, and I will keep my fingers crossed for good news.
ReplyDeleteI agree with everyone above :)
ReplyDeleteYes, relax a litlle even though I'm sure it's hard. You might just need to get a colposcopy done to check things out. It's not very rare anymore to have some abnormal tests come back. I had one right after my miscarriage this spring and it all turned out negative. It could very well be leftovers from your miscarriage or an ovarian cyst. Both of which are easily treated.
ReplyDeleteThank you guys, I can say this here bcuz family don't read it, but I called my mom to tell her and she acted like she could care less. I don't know what I will do if I am sick everyone would rather have a party that I would die I think. All my support is HERE. :o(
ReplyDeleteMy thoughts and prayers are with you and I agree with everyone above also. It is so easy for our minds to think the worse when it can be something completely different. I understand your family, I have the same kind of family and most time I would think I was the inviible one.
ReplyDeleteBig Hugs across the miles.
Try not to stress. You can't do anything about it, and all your going to do is make yourself sicker by worrying over what it could be. As others said, it may be nothing. And if it's something, better to find it early while something can be done. Don't think no one cares. Sweetie, I grew up with a Mom who regularly made the "everyone would have a party if I died" statement. Made her kids feel horribly frustrated, because she couldn't apparently see how much we loved her. Try and be positive. Illness feeds off negative energy. Positive energy can move mountains.
ReplyDeleteHug's
ReplyDeleteTry to think positive thoughts & relax. I know that's hard but it's best. You don't know anything yet and stressing will only make you feel worse.
ReplyDeleteHUGS!!!
I will be praying it's not as bad as your thinking. Remember thinking positive brings positive.
Please keep us posted.
Also, I agree that because you never had a D&C when you miscarried that it could be that. I'm very surprised they didn't do a D&C when you miscarried, when I did they did it immediately. HUGS again!!!
ReplyDeleteAlso, I know your stressing about the hysterectomy but remember there is always adoption as an option if that has to happen. It's NOT the end of the world to have that done. Your heath is MOST important.
As for your mom. I'm sorry. You know I know how family can be. But you have MANY people that care about you and are praying for you.
You can bury your head in your pillow but promise yourself afterward, you'll pick yourself up and move forward. Through prayer I'm sure you'll find strength.
ReplyDeleteI'll be keeping up in my Thoughts & Prayers girl! Keep us posted! Luv ya bunches!
ReplyDeleteI can not imagine how scary that phone call must have been. I am sorry. You need to try your best to not dwell on it for now. Relax if you can. I am sorry that your mom did not give you the response that you needed. She may have not wanted to get you more worked up by acting concerned. You are a mother Tammie, you know that your mom cares.
ReplyDeleteKeep us posted and take care
You don't know my mother ... this is nothing new. Just thought since she had been trough it herself she would care, but no.
ReplyDeleteHow's Adam feeling about it all? I hope it doesn't come to surgery. You are in my prayers.
ReplyDeleteLisa, I am NOT having ANY surgery.
ReplyDeleteForgot to answer this.. but was thinking about it all night .. He really acts like he could care less. Hasn't said anything. We don't talk much anymore and lately we are father apart than Washington to New York, But if that really is the way he feels, I have no idea.
ReplyDelete