WHY DO I BLOG ?

I think this an awesome idea that a friend of most of ours here has started. After reading my friends' entries on the same topic and thinking about exactly what I wanted to say for the longest time - I think I am finally ready - but beware, I might have alot to say.

I started blogging initally over at Yahoo 360. I seen they had something new and I wanted to scope it out. I went and goofed off around there and wrote a few things then left for a long time. I thought growing up that writing in a journal or diary was too girly and silly for me - so I contemplated going there or not. But ... I was pretty lonely most of the time and I had just moved (AGAIN) to Wisconsin and seriously I had not a whole lot better to do but to sit on our very first compter and tinker with it.

Growing up (alot here know my background and talking about it isn't a fave thing for me to do) I have always had ALOT of trouble making friends. So even though I went to Yahoo 360 - I never would visit peoples pages because I always thought no one would want me around or find me a nuesance. Well, I had two friends that I grew up and went to school with there and one's sisters ... that one's sister was friends with Windi and/or Matt on 360 and Windi had come by my page one day,looked at my photos and made some nice comments. For the longest time I did not respond --- I don't know why. I just sorta ignored it ... but a while later, I did go to visit Windi's page and slowly we became really good friends. So, was it Windi that started me to really get into blogging ? I don't know. I know alot of you that are friends with her are my friends because of her ... or because of someone who knows someone who knows Windi. I really liked reading her blogs - she was my first REAL blog friend. and through her - I have "learned" to blog and um, am now addicted.... dayhum .... :O) LOL !

I really don't know why I really started to write, In time I found it really helped me to get rid of ALOT of anger and frustration of alot of the total BS that has happened to me in my life. It helped me to just get things off my mind and to vent - I didn't care if anyone read it really, I seriously never thought anyone ever would, it is just such a bonus to have - I knew that just by writing and having this place as an outlet, I was changing.

I was hoping I was changing for the better, but some times are or have been so hard and undescribeable. I am still not really feeling like I am worthy sometimes of having people read my writings or why they even would want to in the first place and I know that with being not very good in putting words together all too well, that sometimes things get said that weren't meant to or I don't make much sence.

Since that time - I can notice that by blogging regularly I DO see a considerable change within myself. I think I am more happy and at peace (mostly) with things that have happened to me in my past. I have noticed that I am learning to trust other people more and learn to make friends and not be scared of others and make excuses to not talk to others like I used to.

What I really like about blogging is seeing what others lives are like, being considered a friend to people for the REAL first time in my life, being included and thought of and cared for- genuinly and unconditionally. Non bloggers have NO idea what this experience has done for me. While I have had a few set backs and thought about leaving a few times for a few reasons, for the most part, I am in total LUV with being here and sharing all your lives and times with all of you. I never expected to recieve such a great gift of friends in my life at this time or in this way, but what would I do without all of you - I just do not know.

I also like to come here to blogland to try to make a difference - if only to one person even. Maybe of just to make thier day better, give them a smile or a laugh ... help them up if they are down and TRY to be the kind of friend I would want for me.

Being here has also made me sain. Honestly. Things this year have been - well pretty drab, quite lonely and down right depressing. Without my daily routine of being here and having a friend in all of you, I would have faced alot of my times alone and depressed. Thank You guys !

Yes, while my life sometimes pretty much revolves around sitting here, it is NOT just a box I sit at. I talk to my bestest friends in all of the world. Literally EVERY day I have one or more of any of you guys on my mind. I will see this or that and think of so and so ... or my kids will do this or that and I will think of the time when ________ wrote a similar blog - oh ha ha ha !     Ya'know. ???

We share our daily lives, our ups, our downs, goods, bads, happy, sad, kids, schools, traffic, weather, recipes and pictures.... and even recieve support and advice. You all are a big part of me and I can't imagine me without you. I adore all of my friends here - you are all so dear to me.

I have had the worst times and best here, but I try to be optimistic and as positive as possible about everything. Having done so has caused a bad situation to turn out to give me one of the greatest friends I have now. I do believe that things happen for a reason - and there is a time and purpose for everything and EVERYONE. Whether we pass in life as friends or remain friends for all of our lives- you all have a place in my heart and as part of MY story. 

This year I have seen a whole circle of friends come together for support to a friend of ours - How can anyone dare say that by blogging you don't meet "real" people and create lasting friendships ? They just do not understand.

All I know is that by blogging, my life has forever been changed for the better and I would like to think that all of my friends' lives have as well. Thank you all from the bottom of my heart (as I cry- of course) ... THANK you for being my friend. Thank you for helping me and listening to me  and my blabber - incoherantly at times, Thank You for being there for me - making me smile - brightening my days and giving me a reason to feel better about myself.

I LUV YOU GUYS .... and now you know .... THAT is WHY I blog !

TAMMIE :o)

Thanks K for this awesome idea - it really made me think ! See ? things happen for a reason ! ONE bad situation has made so many of us stop, think and be thankful. AND draw us closer together as friends.