First - this blog is only open to some of my closest contacts - it gets kinda personal by the end.
Why is it I can't ever just seem to have a normal quiet weekend here ? Oh I dunno.
The weather was up and down - one minute it was sunny out then by the next, it was ugly and dark and we were having torrential rains ! Several times the tornado sirens would go off in town then be quiet again. I swear I have never seen such odd weather since living here. Our basement is now flooded, about an inch in water - not bad as it has been worse, but I still do not like it.
So I ended up not getting a whole lot done during the weekend as I had intended, but I was never so thankful for the weekend to end and for Monday to start. Thank god it is Monday - that is all I can say ! The hubby was home all weekend, now some of you know that we are having some issues - but this weekend was bad, very bad. His attitude toward things has just gotten worse so with every movement and with everything someone did it seemed an arguement was started. I am sooo tired of all this negativity in this house. It is unbelievable !
So we tried to work on a few things - but didn't get much done. My hubby managed to play the Wii most of the weekend - which was kinda ok - because those were the times I would get left alone, but I did ask a question while Guitar Hero was being played and you'd have thought the world ended ! I cannot tell you how tired I am - it makes me feel so down in the dumps and like I live in a whole ! I cannot wait till July and I can have a few minutes away - I am counting down the days - 47 now - I believe !!!
Another thing this weekend was that the bank really screwed up our pay - long story that I don't want to get into - but basicaly we got paid less than half of what we should - and for those of you who know me close know we have no savings because of the identity theft and we live paycheck to paycheck. I do not use crfedit and everything is paid in cash - so I am kinda screwed for the next two weeks. On Friday I went and filled the gas tank in our van - it cost 95 dollars to fill - so hubby could get to work for the next two weeks - then I went grocery shopping and errr, basically even though I had to leave some much needed things behind once I went to check out and didnt have enough money - the money is now gone. I couldn't pay any bills !! I am now fairly certain that our electricity will be turned off in the next few days - because since our bills were so high in the winter I am obligated to pay every two weeks ... and I cannot do that. I hate not being able to keep my word with things - I hate not being able to pay my bills - and let me tell you - I am at about my wits end with everything that is going on here.
My kids are home from school now - so our grocery bill went up twice as much - I swear my children are bottomless pits ! I still didn't get everything we needed and I spent almost 300 dollars. It is soooooooo unbelieveable how much EVERY little thing has gone up in price. Our pay don't go up - but food and gas go up ... so I have to choose. Things I used to buy - are now not even affordable for us ... it is pathetic ! A simple and complete five - ten dollar meal for us - had doubled in price and now our groceries are costing way more and I am getting way less ! There will be no cereal this summer in our house - why ? because of the milk prices - - - we don't qualify for assistance, but I partly dont want to spend so much on a gallon of milk either - with my kids a gallon a day - or a little less - is average, so I cannot no longer afford it. Sad isn't it ?! It makes me sooo mad at how this world is today. Is America going to be the next country suffering mass poverty ??? and for WHAT even ??? Isn't the US - supposed to be the richest country ?! It is sad.
I am sorry - I feel like I am being so negative myself this morning and like I am on a rant, but writing makes me feel better about situations .. so I hope that you don't mind about me barking about all my woes today. I guess it better to type out all my aggression rather than to take it out elsewhere. so here I am ...
So lets see - that brings us to Sunday - A and I just stayed away from eachother most of the day - that is until dinner ... and of course I did something wrong again and so another arguement was had. After dinner though is what broke the straw on the camels back. I sat down here and was looking through things and realizing that I couln't find much - it was gone, but where did it go to ? So reluctanly I asked A what he did to my computer ....
He "restored it to factory settings - because it was running slow." UMMMMMMMM - Problem here ... you didn't ask me - you didn't tel me - YOU DIDN'T SAVE ANYTHING !!!!
ALL MY stuff is gone ! ALL OF IT !!! EVERY PICTURE ! 8 -9 months of pictures ! ALL GONE ! EVERY picture I have of Gracie since she was born - GONE !
All I could do is cry - sorry, but I LOST IT! I went outside and sat for awhile, I went inside and sat for awhile. I am done. I can't do this anymore and I am serious. It isn't the fact of the pictures exactly - but it is just a combination of everything that has been going on here. I don't have a clue what my next move will be - but something has to be done ... something - anything !
Well, so that means today is Monday - I didn't end up going to bed till about 3:30 last night - I ended up in Jordans room - away from A and his attitude. I used Jordans computer to talk to some of you guys and played a game with the kids. We ended up having a good time and laughing our butts off - but man I am draggin about today because I stayed up so late. I am glad that my kids and I can get along so well - (even tho A says that they are spolied because of me and that I have caused them to dislike him and they are brats because how I choose to raise them ) ... lol... this I get a kick out of this because them not liking him is of his own accord. Oh well - we had a good time anyway and I enjoy being around them as I think they do me.
And no - just in case some of you wondered, I do not let the kids "see" the arguements between A and I ... I (not he) believe that doing that changes who they are - and since I am non confrontational anyway - I walk away. I used to argue back, but it really just isn't worth my time anymore - so I walk away. If they happen to be near - they must either leave the room or I must. HA HA considering that last year I would have sworn with every bit of my lafe that we wouldn't be like this --- we never - in all our 17 years have argued this much. I dunno - but 8 months roughly is about all I can take of it - I cannot tell you how down it makes a person feel and in a hole it makes things seem. I don't know what I am going to do about this ... but like I said - something has to be done.
Well, crud - I have sooo not meant to turn this into a "Negative Nelly" or "Debbie Downer"
Blog and I have rambeled on way to much for today ... so I guess with that I will go - Again, I am sorry for being so down sounding - no one wantds to read about those times, I promise to write a better blog to all my dear friends later.
HAVE A GREAT DAY - I LOVE ALL YOU GUYS ! :o) TAMMIE
Hug's my friend.........I know all about living paycheck to paycheck and such it's hard........at one time we were living off ramam noodles and totino's pizza and the power companies are SATAN...........vent all you need too!
ReplyDeleteSorry to hear about life right now! I think in some way we can all relate!! I don't even want to get on the subject of gas prices!!!!! GAH!
ReplyDeleteI know I'm new to your list, and I'm not familiar with all that is going on in your life, but thank you for opening up to me! Marriage is tough!! We've all been there, and I can just hope this is just a phase and things will work out for you in the end. You have a beautiful family, so look to them when times are hard. And don't fret about the 'downer blog' we all do 'em!!!
The point of blogging is to get it out - no apologies necessary.
ReplyDeleteSUCKS big time about the pictures! Have you ever uploaded to shutterfly or kodak or walmart?? At least you'd have an online copy. I'd die if that happened!
I don't know you that well, or your history - but I will tell you from first hand experience...the kids know you are arguing and whatever else. You may think they don't - but kids pick up on very small things. I wish you and your family peace, my friend - be happy.
wow Sweetheart...sounds like you've got a lot on your plate. Just know that you are not the only one that ever goes through this...marriage is a lot of work and sometimes doesn't seem worth the effort. Try hard not to make life changing decisions until things get a little better. Work through it...pray a lot. Money wise we are in the same boat...we do PBJ sandwiches for lunches or soup...we've lived on spaghetti and super cheap food. You'll make it...be creative. :)
ReplyDeleteI've lost all my pictures before...he didn't realize what he was doing. Now I store them online at a site call 'Shutterfly', it's up to me to be diligent and upload them as soon as possible. Oh and it's free. A lot of time a church can help with utilities...sometimes even if you don't attend there.
Maybe your husband is seriously stressing out with the money situation and the heaviness of trying to provide for everyone....and they only way he can cope right now is by tuning everything out and playing the Wii games or picking a fight with you so he can don't feel so guilty about how things are and he's not providing enough? My husband and I have been married for 17 years and they have not been easy...but I love him and am committed to him and our relationship/family. Life is never easy...a lot of it is how you chose to view it and get through it. It'll get better in time....what is a view from a mountain top if you've never been in the valley?
((HUGS))
I went grocery shopping yesterday, too. Lawdy, I was so stresses by the time I was done. I knew I had spent too much. But, when I tried to think of what to put back, I really couldn't. Shampoo? No, we need that. Toilet cleaner? As much I don't WANT to clean the toilets, it's gotta be done. Food? Ugh. The food is the worst. My kids are on reduced price lunches and breakfast during the school year. So, now I have to worry about not just dinners, but breakfast and lunch, too. Milk is almost $5 a gallon. Eggs are almost $2 a dozen. Rice has gone up, and that's always been one of my staples, for a cheap dinner!
ReplyDeleteThe pics that you've uploaded onto Multiply or yahoo will still be here. As well as anything you've put on flickr, photobucket, or the like. I know how frustrating that can be, because I have a TON of pictures stuck on my computer.
As for the fighting with hubby, have you talked to him about counseling? From the sounds of it, he would be against it, but surely that is a better option than divorce for him, right??
First things first....BIG HUG!!! Take a deep breath and remember that this too shall pass.
ReplyDeleteI can't really help with the hubby problems, I pretty much agree with the others comments on that. Sometimes we pick at the little things when there is something deeper bothering us. Maybe just try and talk to him when you guys aren't fighting. I don't know him, so I'm not sure how open he is to talking.
BUT.......as for the groceries I may be of some help. I don't know if you've ever read my "coupon box" on my page. I have been slacking with this but just over the weekend cleaned out my coupon binder and started again. I kid you not if you follow this program I'm going to tell you about, you will save so much money and you will even get FREE stuff from the store. YES, I said FREEEEEEEEEE.
Check out this website. www.thegrocerygame.com
It is completely legit and real. It cost you $1.00 for a trial of a month. TRUST ME, you will save that dollar and much more in the first shopping trip. Check out the site, run your zip code to see if they even have lists for your area and then get with me if you have any questions. I'd love to help get you going on it and help you save hundreds of dollars a month. On top of spending less money, you will be bringing home even more food than ever!!! I am so serious about this. One time I got like 30 boxes of ceral for FREE at one time. NO, I'm not kidding!
Don't sign up until you talk to me. You need to first collect coupons for a few weeks to get a pile built up. I recommend you buy at least 2 Sunday papers or more. Does your Sunday paper come with the coupon inserts booklets in it? I can also help you get your binder all set up and ready to go.
For anyone else that is reading this, feel free to check out my coupon box on my page also for tips or jot me a line. I love showing others how to get stuff for free or just cents! :)
OH EMM GEEE- I feel this way alot lately too ... That is the exact thing I did at the check out. I had to put alot back though. My kids get reduced lunches at shool too and now that they are home ... it is not pretty. That is one thing I don't like about them being here - I feel guilty for not filling them. ... plus I don't like not liking them here... lol.
ReplyDeleteAs for A... you are so right...*in my opinion* he thinks he does nothing wrong ... whenever I try to talk to him - all I get is - yea, whatever or UH HUH .. kinda stuff.. At this point I don't know that counseling would help - but like you said (very well put BTW) he is the type that wouldn't go anyway. Well, I have tried not to think about divorce, honestly - but I don't know what else to do - I almost told him I wanted one last night .... but just didn't mainly cause I havent the money to live without him. Since last fall - he has been so controlling and I dunno - you know what - I am going to send you a PM ....
Thank you Tonya.
ReplyDeleteWe don't even have a a sunday paper around here - unless youget it from far away. ...
PM ME about this - it is easier.
I used to clip coupons, but I hardly ever see any that are worth it anymore. In-store coupons are awesome, though. But, since I buy all generic, it seems the coupons never really help me out anyway.
ReplyDeleteEverything IS getting so expensive! I am afraid that it is just going to get worse too!
ReplyDeleteI am sorry to hear that you and you husband are having a rough time. It really seems to be going around a lot here lately! Take care!
I use to only buy generic but with the coupons you end up getting the better brands for less than the generic. Seriously!!! I know it's hard to believe. The trick is this. You set up a binder, organize it, take it with you to every shopping trip and save ALL the coupons even if you don't think you'll use them because if you can get it for free or close you'll probably try it. You buy 2 papers for double coupons for this reason. When stores have buy one get one free sales, you can use TWO coupons on it even though you are getting one for free. So this is an example:
ReplyDeleteKraft Mayo (32 oz) = $3.99 on sale for buy one get one free.
You have 2 coupons for say $1.00/1.
You use two coupons because you are buying 2 products.
You end up paying 1.99 for two kraft mayos.
For a total of $1.00 a piece.
You can't get any mayo for $1.00 a jar much less Kraft 32 ounces.
This grocery game matches all the sales to the weekly coupons and you basically print your list every week from the website and pull what coupons you want. The list keeps tracks of all sales (which are usually in 12 week cycles) and tells you when the BEST time to buy it is. It color codes it to make it easy to just glance and know what to buy. You end up with a huge stockpile for very little money.
In my coupon box there are some blogs with pictures and receipts to show some deals I've gotten. Check it out.
Yea - when I was shopping, I did end up buying all the Wal Mart brand stuff (cause that is where I shop. I did have a few coupons, but when I figured it - it still would be more even with the coupon ... so I ended up not using some I had.
ReplyDeleteUsually if you only have a few coupons you aren't going to see much difference. With this game it shows you when to use them at the right times when the items are on sale. If you combine the coupons with sale or clearance items, that's when you make some great deals. Then if you have 30 coupons to scan it adds up at the register. If you ever get into this game you wont even want to shop Walmart anymore, it will seem too expensive there. Seriously!
ReplyDeleteOkay - Tonya. I have a few things to do around the house right now- but I WILL be back and I will go to your page and check it out ! ok ?
ReplyDeleteHope your day is good !
Okay, I don't mean to sound pushy if I did. I'm just trying to help with something I know would help anyone financially. Not everyone likes doing coupons and that's fine. I just thought I'd throw it out there for those that are interested.
ReplyDeleteOh no way - I didn't think that at all, but um... been sitting here today Wayyyyyyyy to long and getting nothing done - so kida gotta move my fat but away from this addicting machine that has my friends in it !!! LOL !
ReplyDeleteLOL, I hear ya on that. I keep telling myself to get up and go do some cleaning and yet here I sit. So I'll ttyl. :)
ReplyDeleteSo sorry 'bout all this, Tammie! I sure understand, we go thru at least a gallon of milk a day, too! And my 16yo is a bottomless pit!
ReplyDeleteSorry about things with A. Been there, my friend, no it's not easy. All the best to you!
HUG!! Thanks for getting everything off your chest!!
ReplyDeleteI agree maybe you guys could check out some free conceling...maybe at a local church (like Lisa suggested)?
As for groceries..they ARE high. Sorry you are going through such a rough time but just take it one day at a time and enjoy those little good moments you have with your kids
I commented a bit on the other pm you sent, so I'm not gonna repeat it all here...just know I'm praying for ya, girl......
ReplyDeleteWell the only thing I can tell you, is we have all been there...or at least close. it SUCKS not having money. When you have enuogh, it's not an issue, but the moment you need more it's a huge crisis. I am sending you great big hugs and I wish the money fairy would visit.
ReplyDeleteTammie I am sorry for all that you are going through. I do know how hard it is to make ends meet sometimes because I lived through that once myself. Is there anyway that you could babysit for an extra 100 bucks a week just to have something else coming in? I dunno if that is possible but I do know that people pay more to watch infants.
ReplyDeleteI am sorry A treats you the way he does and I know the toll that it takes on you.
You are right though things are SKY high right now. I notice a huge increase in our bill EVERY time I go to the store. Its hard for lots of people. I will say a prayer for you guys and if Pam's money fairy comes to visit...can you tell her to stop by my place too?? lol :) HUGS
I've had some not so good moments with Mike and almost gave up. I'm thankful I didn't though because what he was doing to me wasn't of his own accord, he had medical problems with his hormones. Sounds a lot similar to what is happening between you and A, except I didn't know he had anything wrong physically, and I kept trying to make excuses for why he was being how he was.
ReplyDeleteI just read a really good blog on marriage, here's the link in case you're interested: http://glynisp.multiply.com/journal/item/460/The_Marriage_Marathon?replies_read=8 It's my friend Glynis and she made a good analogy.
I get depressed every time I go to the grocery store. Your friend Tonya is telling you the truth, I have a membership (it's free completely) to something similiar to that, except it's called the coupon mom and they had her on our local news, does the exact same thing Tonya is talking about, too. It does add u p. They showed her on the news with about $400 in groceries and spending about $110 after coupons and using BOGOS and such with the coupons, and on her site she offers organizers and such for your electronic coupons. My only complaint is my Giant Eagle will not accept coupons you print online.
If you need someone to talk to you have my yapoo i.d.
I wish I could help you!! It sucks what you are going through. I'm SO SO SO sad for you that all those pictures are gone! I know how important those things are!!!
ReplyDeleteThere is a lot of good advise here...I hope some of it helps!!
Big hugs to you!
Did hubby ask at work why his paycheck was so small? Or what happened with the bank to make it not right. Someone should fix it?
ReplyDeleteJust know we are all sending hugs and positive thougths your way.
Hon you know I love ya a ton no matter what you're like.
ReplyDeleteWe all go through trials and tribulations and life changing
times. I too would be devastated over the photos and what
a thoughtless thing to do... men can do those things at
times...I'm sorry you're feeling so bad lately. I'm raising
prayers up for you and your family that things will work
out the best for you and your beautiful family.
((((((((HUGS))))))))) thanks for sharing and trusting to share.
I am very sorry for all your going through my friend and will be praying for you! I know it's hard to understand men and having to deal with them. I am so sorry what happen with your pictures and would of been upset too!! I am sorry your check was smaller, I know that is never fun when you are living paycheck to paycheck. I am sorry your feeling so bad lately and I'll pray that you feel better soon! I am so looking forward to getting away too! Hugs to you!!
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry I missed this. I think it's good for you to get it all out on here.. we're not here to judge you but to help you know that you are supported by many. There are a lot of people, including me, feeling the money pinch right now and while I can't begin to know your situation or how tough it is with kids, (since I have none) just know that you aren't alone in all of this.
ReplyDeleteYour comment about your husband always being right reminds me completely of mine. I mean really, are men EVER wrong?? :)
Hugs to you and thanks for trusting us all enough to share what's going on. I'll be thinking of you.