I ONLY *THINK* I'm a man ......

Yarrrr, I'm up early again ... I don't know why, I'm as tired as a person whose tired. Yep, thats me alright. But since I can't sleep I thought I'd come let out some hot air and sneeze a few million times too !

The highllight of my blog today will be my dear (soon to be 17, I THINK I am a man) child.

During my day yesterday I had several instances that were in fact blog worthy, my son is always good for some sort of a laugh. I mean he seems to think he is Adam Sandlers twin sometimes and can quite successfully whip me into mountains of laughter, but yesterday he had my mind spinning in the other direction.

On his walk home from summer school, I called to see where he was ... conversation goes something like this:

Me: Jordan we are planning lunch - where are you at about now ?

Jordan: "wherever"

Me : WHAT ? - Hey, I'm serious .... where are you ?

Jordan : "I'm in America"

Me: GODDDDDD ! Tell me !

Jordan : "Ok, .... precisely, I am in Tomah, Wisconsin"....

Me: .......................... click !

 

So yeeeea, that is the way the day was going - it was an odd day which of course by evening had not changed one bit.

By late afternoon, lunch was done, Gracie was taking a nap, Jordan was mowing the yard and the others were playing and running around the yard like chickens with thier heads cut off ...

So I got busy doing some much needed things I'd neglected doing around the yard. 

I cut down a stupid little bush, I weed wacked and tidy'd up ... then A came home where he set to getting the rest of that pine tree cut up into pieces. I then went on a weed pulling extravaganza - where to my suprise - I had not only Brittany offer to help me, but once he was done mowing, Jordan as well.

Of course he delighted me with more tales of WHOAAAA during my extravaganza ... enough so that I wanted to run away from him screaming or chop something up ... whichever came first. What was with this boy today ? So here is how that delightful conversation went something like:

Jordan : We gotta talk mom....

Me: ummm, ok.

Jordan: I think I have decided what I will do with myself now ..

Me: Well, my guess is that you're pulling weeds with me ... am I wrong here?

Jordan: No - Mommmmmmmm... I mean my life ... I AMM going to be 17 ya' know. ?!

Me: REaaaaaaalllly ? When the hot potato did that happen ?

Jordan : So are ya' gonna listen or what ?

Me: I suppose - I mean, I'm sitting here pulling weeds and your talking into my ear - so if it goes in I listen - kinda how that wirks - right ? (I'm a smart ass )

Jordan: OK - Mom .... I have found the woman I want to marry.

Me: Snort, snort giggle - I burst into a fit of laughter

Jordan: Whats so funny ?

Me: Oh, little boy, little boy, little boy ...

Jordan : HEY, I ain't a little boy - I am almost a man ! I'll be 17 next month.

Me: Oh, so being 17 makes you a man ?????? Well, you'd better tell that to ALOT of other men, seeing they are like 30 something and still act like babies .....

Jordan: Ummm, yeeeea. well, Mom I was thinking of quitting school and doing night courses to get my GED ... Get a job all during that so's I'm not a low life, Then I want to go into the Army and have a mechanic MOS -do my time- get out then go into the Nascar scene. I also plan to marry Tiffany and while I am becoming famous she will go to college.

------------- for those who don't know, "Tiffany" is from Indiana. The last time Jordan saw her was before we moved FIVE years ago - however they have always remained friends. ------------------

So anyway - admidst my clear and blatent shock and fits of laughter, I say - you JUST THINK that sounds like a good plan.

Jordan : WHATTTTTTTTTT ?

Me : I get up and walk past A  telling him his BAFOON of a son has just informed me of his life plans and has decided to get married.

A: Blank stare

Me: Blank stare

A and me : FIT of laughter

Brittany : Um, Jordan - if you quit school WHO is going to pay your bills ?

A: If you quit school ??? WHERE are you going to live ???

Me: Have you gone to the Uhaul store for a box or something ?

Brittany : Jordan ... you can't even drive yet  ..... you do know that - right ? I mean is Tiffany going to drive all the way up from Indiana to drive you to night school and work ? Then drive back home just to do that again ????

Jordan : Well, yea, maybe something can be done ?! I mean nothing serious was going to be happining for like 2 years anyway.

Me: 2 years - huh ? So in two years you're going to be able to get your licencse back, have a good paying job, finished school , be mature enough AND have enough money to pay for all this stuff life takes --- huh ??? (fit of laughter again)

Jordan: OK --- So It was just a thought. I have to make plans ya' know - I am almost a man.

Me: Little boy, little boy, little boy - you are NEVER going to be a MAN .... especially with thoughts like that  - besides, I'll let you know WHEN you're going to be a man !

LOL !

SOMEONE POKE ME IN THE EYE WITH A FORK ! GOD BLASTED TEENAGERS - why do they think they know everything ?!

Anywhoooo diddly do - we had other little conversations, most were funny little light hearted ones, but I just felt a strong urge to get that one out because if any of ya' hear someone screaming fits of rage - that would be me !

HOPE YA'LL HAVE A GREAT DAY TODAY !!!!!

 

(side note:) Jordan's drivers licencse was suspended - because in the state of Wisconsin if you are late to class more than once you are considered "truent" - you have to pay a fine. The fine being 200 dollars - I'M NOT PAYING IT - so that is why he can't drive.