Well, with this oh so lovely weather we actually have been having, I have made sure to get outside the last few days..... We got alot of yard stuff done like removal of some old stuff, moving and fixing my rocks, picking up sticks, cutting a small tree down and having a bonfire with all that wood, raking and clearing part of the field that we have and did I say raking ?!?!!!!!!
I am very sore, but I like to do it - if I could do that everyday, I would lose weight in no time !!!! Plus it helps keep my mind of things when I do .....
Anyways ... I wanted to know if you all can see what I see ?
I mean look at this picture ....
The picture is of my house and what I call the front yard, um, cause that is where the front is "supposed" to be. No one has a clue where my front door is right now - a fact that I hate !
THE "DOOR" outside and inside ...
"inside" is currently a laundry room, which would be moved to the downstairs bathroom.
... Now, 
The two big windows above the log cabin part (livingroom) are where Brittany's room is - the small window over the "door" is Cameron's room and the big window that is on the right, is my bedroom - bathroom which is over the so called garage. Last year we cut down the middle pine tree that was in front of that concrete pad (leaving the ones you see in the first photo) but our hopes was to make this a WONDERFUL and MAJESTIC entrance.
CAN YOU SEE IT ?
Between the two concrete things is supposed to be the driveway, the pink flag - the mailbox and the doorway that you see - the one that some bozo closed in with brick - was going to be a beautiful magnificent doorway - one so that when you come to my house - you love it instantly. .... instead of thinking 'EEEeeew, wonder what happened there, what an ugly house'.....
Now imagine a really nice porch area, a garage where the drive way would end near the house. Two flowering trees on either side of the driveway, Landscaping that makes everything just POP and the greenest grass af all around.
YYYYYEEEEaaaahh, that is what I see. With what is going on with my house right now, I don't know that it will ever be a reality, but it is nice to dream, I guess.
When we first got here - I hated it, it just wasn't home, just wasn't anything like where I am from and I didn't want to be here. I felt so out of place.
Now, I am starting to feel different and I wish I had the money or an expensive lawyer to help my situation, but truth is; I have no money - nor money for a lawyer - I am becoming REALLY pretty scared about the future and I really don't want to leave now. I don't want my kids to not have a memory of a "home" - even if it is here and if it is a bit raggedy looking.
Nothing new has happened as far as the house or land goes, but I think about it everyday and wish I could change things. We no longer have the money to pay for the mess called our mortgage- so it is only a matter of time.
Right now I am so mad, because we put all that work into the inside - gutted it and re- did the whole thing from scratch, but I am also sad, discusted and angry ... it just isn't fair. *sigh* :O(
I know you are all wonering "why bother" ...Hmmm... maybe because I have to - I dunno ..... or I will go nuts. *sigh* :O(
~~~~ Anyways, it is raining here today, so my plan after lunch is to catch up with all of you and load the ton of pictures I have been snapping so you all can see them ... hope you hava great day ! ~~~~
TAMMIE.
I don't think your house is ugly at all. I can totally envision the beautiful entry way and flowering trees and everything! I hope things work out in your favor.
ReplyDeleteYep, I've been there and done that. It sucks, but if you look at it in a positive way, like making a fresh start, then it's not so bad and you can do like I did and find a place to rent for a while.
ReplyDeleteKids, when it comes right down to it, don't really care WHAT their house looks like, but by how much LOVE they have!
I'm sorry you have so much going on, but I am glad you were able to be outside for a couple days, sweating and thinking. Keep your chin up!
We've missed ya around here
u know I've always loved your house! I hope everything works out for ya'll so that one day u can do all those things you'd like to do to it.
ReplyDeleteHello Tammy! Sounds like you have been one busy beaver. Oh your house isn't ugly and I think it's great to dream and picture how you want things. I am sure you'll get them. Just keep dreaming. I am glad you were able to get outside and enjoy this wonderful weather! I am so happy it's been so nice! WOOHOO!! I sure hope evening will be great! Hugs to you!!
ReplyDeleteI love your house...it looks cute and like it has personality. I know you don't like it but maybe it will grow on you...
ReplyDeleteYour children will love their "HOME" because of what's on the inside rather than the outside..inside meaning love, respect, fun times, and all sorts of memories.
ReplyDeleteI love your idea and think its great that you have a vision and something to look forward to if it works out that you can stay. The house looks really old and from what i can tell has quite a bit of charm to it.
Just keep thinking positive!
Believe me when I say that your kids won't remember the houses they lived in near as much as the love they felt inside them. I know this because we moved about every three years, my whole life.
ReplyDeleteI can see why you are getting attached to the house though, you've put a lot of blood, sweat, and tears into it, and really, it's a lovely old brick house. I LOVE those kind of houses, and I've seen the inside from your pictures---it's a great house.
I can totally see the 'vision' you put forth, and I hope and pray that someday, it WILL come true!
**hugs**
(would I be rubbing it in if I told you it was 74 and sunny here? Tomorrow is supposed to be the same....but then rainy and colder all weekend.)
First of all your house isn't ugly. I remember especially seeing the pictures of the inside and thinking how beautiful it is. Besides it doesn't matter what it looks like really as long as the family inside is happy and that you are all together and that is what makes a family home. I am sorry you don't have the money ect to get yourself what you need but remember you all stick together and it will work out. May not be what you want but look at it from a different angle. You are all healthy, happy beautiful family who love each other.
ReplyDeleteI wasn't saying I thought the house was that ugly, I just wanted to see if any of you guys could see what I see ... or um, better yet, see what could be - or isn't yet there.
ReplyDeleteI know kids don't remember the houses, but I've always wanted one that my kids grew up in to be the same one they'd bring my grandkids too someday. A house that is big enough for the kids and thier families to visit and stay with me - whenever. Maybe it was because I grew up in one house all my life till my parents got divorced.... and you go back and show your kids everything you remember - etc.
I know, mushy mushy crap .... guess I am just getting really scared of whats to come. I HATE renting ..... I HATE IT !
I remember that house -Grandma and Granpa's house -they raised there kids there ,they lived there forever and were always there - at Xmas ,Thanksgiving, Easter , summer visits - it was Home to the whole family and they never moved .... it's gone now and so are they but I know what you're talking about
ReplyDeleteYes, JB - thank you. :O)
ReplyDeleteI see the beauty thats not there yet, don't worry folks, I wasn't saying it was ugly. :O) Just wanted to see if ya'll could see it.
I know how you feel...I wanted that for my kids, too, and started getting worried when they were in elementary school...so we bought a house.
ReplyDeleteA year later, I was getting divorced. I did marry a few years later, and lived in the same house for 24 years. We sold it a year ago, and bought our "retirement" home.....but somehow we have more kids than ever, and no hope of retiring because of it!
But, I do see what you see, and know what you're talking about. I wanted it, too. I thought life was going to be terrible for my kids....but it ended up being the best thing for them.
You will somehow survive this, and make a home wherever you have to. I'll keep you in my prayers...
I'm so sorry for what you're going through. I see your image in my head and its like a wondrous sanctuary!! Big hugs to you...
ReplyDeleteI can see it!! It's beautiful too!!!
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry your going through rough times, we struggle all the time too so I can relate. {{{HUGS}}}
I'm sorry you are going through so much right now~
ReplyDeleteYou have so many ideas for the house~sounds wonderful.
The kids love their home no matter what it looks like~there isn't anything wrong with it & I love all the land.
Hope better things come your way soon.
I love the potential that house has :) it will be beautiful!!!
ReplyDeletePrayers that things will start going better I hate it when life
throws so much at one time. Ly bunches and know you're
not alone.
(((HUGS))))))))))))))))))))))))
Hey Tammie, I saw you on a bunch of blogs this morning so I thought I would pop over and lurk, I'm so truy sorry for what you are going through but I cant totally relate/ My mortgage has gone up almost 2000.00 since we bought th elace in 05. Cant do it anymore. We wre trying to work something out with the mortgge company but they dont care right now.. there are too many others out there that need it too. Sucks, I have NEVER been late on my mortgage. "go" but I am too stressed and I hate watching my husband stress over finding th emoney to pay the bills, its just not worth it. The kids dont care where we live and honestly Tammie, I think that if you have to start over.. it will be ahell of a lot less stressful on you and that will reflect on th kids you know? They will feel it too.
ReplyDeleteI really hope things work out for you! They will.... they always seem to one way or another right??