Gosh, I have been in such a funky funk all day ... Blllleh. Everything seems to be bothering me. I wish it would just stop it.
I think my hormones are all screwy. But of course I can't tell you all that for sure because I can't get to the doctor until October 1st. Yay !
One minute I'm frustrated then I want to cry, the next I just feel like being left alone, I have absolutely NO motivation to do anything lately or go anywhere for that matter .. do I have depression or am I just crazy. I know some out there would say that I am crazy, and while that just might be logical - there still has to be a reason why. My insides hurt, my head hurts constantly and my regular period is supposed to start two days from now, but I don't think it will - there is something just truly bazaar going on and the impatient person within me wants it explained now.
I think with all this homeschooling and baby crap, losing our house to that lawsuit (which of course still bothers me alot) our van and just in general the WHOLE last year and a 1/2, I think that I just MIGHT be actually going nuts.
Now don't get me wrong, my life is not at all bad. I have SOOO VERY much to be thankful for, and I am a total idiot for thinking anything but, feeling sorry for myself and whining or complaining about it as much as I do. I do try to put it at the back of my mind, not think about it, but then there are the times like today, it just culminates into a load of crap. Boiles up like a zit or something.
Ha .. if I drank I bet I would say that I needed a drink, but to be honest, that just don't help. It makes matters worse and I hate the taste of all that junk anyway. Seriously I would rather lick someones dirty foot !
Sleeping might help as well, I mean atleast when I am asleep I don't let my mind dwell on things like I tend to do ... but for God's sakes I can't even sleep. My body is all screwed up. Like it wasn't already ... I know, I know ...
So, with the meds I take on a daily basis for my AICCP that I am almost out of, the IVIG's I usually get and other things, I should be used to life as it is,
I would like to think I am doing better though and not concentrating on it all quite so much anymore ....
but sometimes .. just sometimes .... I *think* I deserve to whine, if even ... just a little.
Forgive me.
Whine all you want. I am telling you, you have ALL the signs of depression. Even down to not sleeping. Talk to the doctor about it when you go. HUGS
ReplyDeleteWhine all you want. Sometimes it makes me feel better.
ReplyDeleteDid you hear back from your health ins company? Or are you just going to your reg Dr? Tell the Dr all this stuff when you go,
Take care. Try to get some sleep
Whining is fine. It is hard to be strong all day for your family and then have no outlet of your own. That is what we are here for. I know my body is still screwy from the miscarriage...i now get a period every 21 days....NICE, eh? It probably just takes time to get back to normal, and the stress you have doesn't help.
ReplyDeleteHope that you get some rest tonight. Sleep makes everything seem a little better!
ReplyDeleteTammie, is it possible that the meds would make you feel this way? It's not unusual for any meds to have some type of side affect. Stress can also make you feel the way you do, and can mess with your hormones too :O\ I wouldn't say it's depression because you seem to be facing it and seem to acknowedge your craziness, LoL. I'm just making guesses for you, I'm not a medical expert :O\ I know stress can really mess with a person. It can mess with you physically and emotionally. When Katrina hit us, shortly after, I started doing some crazy stuff. My whole metabolism even changed, and I thought I was going through menopause early in life... sometimes I still think that's the case, even though I'm only 34. They say my grandmother started going through the change in her early 30's :O(
ReplyDeleteJust because she is facing it doesn't mean she couldn't have some sort of depression going on. I face it everyday but I suffer from depression, as did my dad that ended up committing suicide. So please do not try to tell her that she doesn't have it. No one knows, that's why I told her to tell her doctor everything she is feeling & let them diagnose her.
ReplyDeleteDepression is a VERY SERIOUS thing & not something people should ignore. It's VERY TREATABLE if you are honest with your doctor. When I was diagnosed I didn't thinik I had it either. I thought it was just stress but STRESS CAN CAUSE DEPRESSION, among many other things, like out of whack hormones.
ONLY a doctor can diagnose it though.
Take care of your needs while you wait to see the doctor. As a fellow mom, I know how easy it is to let your own needs go while tending to your family. But remember, if mama ain't happy, no one is happy! You can't take care of anyone, if you're not up to taking care of yourself.
ReplyDeleteAs for home schooling- its ok to relax and not feel bound to your curriculum. Explore why you are home schooling. Are you trying to recreate "school at home" or help your children become life long lovers of learning?
tonyasplace... I agree, you are right, and I appologize that I worded that wrong :O( Our emotions and bodies can do some crazy stuff, and it's different with different people. Thanks for responding to my comment because I wouldn't want that to come across wrong. Depression and stress are serious, I agree 100%.
ReplyDeleteYou know I think it's okay to whine every now and then. I sure have been feeling in the same moods you have lately. I feel everyone is against me and I am suppose to do for everyone and not complain or whine about it. I think it doesn't help when you have a lot of negitive things happen all at once. It's hard to be strong. So no need to be forgiven your only human Tammie!!! We are here for you! Big hugs your way!!
ReplyDeleteGo ahead and whine if it makes you feel better girl!!..lol Hope you get to feeling better soon..hopefully the Doctor can shed some light on things. (((Big Hugs!!)))
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