I got it - I GET it... I have always gotten it. Don't some people understand that is why I have such an issue with people or can never seem to have my self esteem high enough out of the dirt to make friends ?
If someone has a problem with me - why can't they just grow some balls and tell me to my face (or ok... blog) that I might be ruining thier fun and being irritating, bothersome or unwanted ???
For those of you that don't know - I lurk alot of pages and try in some vain attempt to make friends... and I have made quite a many "friend" doing so ... but appearantly I have ticked someone off here. AGAIN... guess I am good at that.
Is it jealousy or is it that I really AM a loser ? I am 33 and I guess I will never understand how to really make friends.
I have been trying to change, turn a new leaf, be more happy and find the real me ... but things like this are exactly why I stay under my rock and why I will stay there forever. It is alot more comfy under there. I hate pain, frustration, drama, confrontation and most of all myself... some things will never be able to change.
I just thought that having everyone be friends would n't be so bad --- guess I was wrong. I am sorry to whom I took the fun away from.
This is my last open blog ... from here forth I will have my pages open to contacts only.
TAMMIE
I'm so sorry your going through this. Hope it get worked out Tammie. I have never thought of you as a bother and not sure why someone would. {{{HUGS}}}
ReplyDeleteHey girl...I want to tell you, I love your blog...and I adore YOU. I really hope to keep our friendship.
ReplyDeleteHey there! Who cares what some people think! I think you are a wonderful person and we are all here for friendships! I don't think you are a bother at all! Don't just do this for one person! Theres clicks here just like high school its crazy! Just be you! luv ya and I hope you have a wonderful day! BIG HUGS!
ReplyDeleteTammie! I love your blogs and I really enjoy the comments that you leave on other pages! I think you are straight shooter; an honest woman. Actually, I think it takes self-esteem to be so honest ~ maybe you are selling yourself short! Just keep on being you!
ReplyDeleteDon't be so hard on yourself. Who cares what other people think. I like reading your blogs. And if other people don't like lurkers then they need to close there blogs down to private. Blog on. : )
ReplyDeleteyou know what? You HAVE changed! You've changed so much from the person you were.....so don't you DARE let yourself go back under that rock!
ReplyDeleteI'm going to say one thing, and it's going to sound harsh, but I'm saying it because YOU KNOW I LOVE YOU and mean it in the best way.
You need to stop the pity party. Suck it up. There are ALWAYS going to be people that are negative, people that aren't going to be your friend, people that try and bring you down, and (especially on here) people that take things the wrong way. YOU are letting them bring you down. Just stop. Take a look at your friends list. Go back and read the comments. You have PLENTY of people who like you for you, *warts* and all.
But believe me when I say this, Tammie, and I say it with a WHOLE lot of love in my heart, if you keep getting all depressed and negative about the VERY FEW people in here who might hurt your feelings, and get all down on yourself and talk like this, then those of us who do love you, and do appreciate you, and do want you around---well, we get to feeling like we don't even matter. Do we? Don't we count?
I know you've had a hard life Tammie, and I know that life has thrown you more than your fair share of rotten tomatoes, but it's up to YOU to face it with more positivity. YOU are the only one who can make you happy. The more often that the many of us have to reassure you that you are ok, and we love you, the more we feel like you don't even care what we think, that you are more than happy to let a few people drag you down and ruin your fun. Are you? Are you going to let them do that?
Come on! You can do it! You've come such a long way. I love you do death, babe, and you know that I say these things only as a way to make you stop and think. I know that you prefer country music, but I have a song that I like to listen to when I'm feeling sorry for myself, because it makes me want to get out there and FIGHT!!!!
sometimes there's nothing to feel
sometimes there's nothing to hold
sometimes there's no time to run away
sometimes you just feel so old
the times it hurts when you cry
the times it hurts just to breathe
and then it seems like there's no-one left
and all you want is to sleep
fight fight fight
just push it away
fight fight fight
just push it until it breaks
fight fight fight
don't cry at the pain
fight fight fight
or watch yourself burn again
fight fight fight
don't howl like a dog
fight fight
just fill up the sky
fight fight fight
fight til you drop
fight fight fight
and never never
never stop
fight fight fight
fight fight fight
so when the hurting starts
and when the nightmares begin
remember
you can fill up the sky
you don't have to give in
you don't have to give in
never give in
never give in
never give in
There seems to be blog drama off an on in blog land. Don't let it get you down and if you feel the need to shut your pages to private then go for it. I know I like my page private. : )
ReplyDeleteWindi - that was awesome!
ReplyDeleteTammie - don't let anyone push you down. You're stronger than you know. And I'm glad you're here!!!
*Sob* *Sob* *Sob*! I'm not being sarcastic writing that, but I seriously AM crying here! After reading your blog and then skimming over the comments and then coming to what Windi said. Oh, man. That really touched me. It touched me reading your blog because I SO get you! I TOTALLY know how you feel and I'm with you. I am the SAME. EXACT. WAY! I hate that I'm like that. I hate that I worry so much about certain people liking me and being my friend. I hate that I feel like I can't be myself, but Windi is SO right and she's basically said the same thing to me!
ReplyDeleteOh, Tammie. I love ya girl. I think you're a good person with a huge heart and a sarcastic and hilarious sense of humor! You are one of the few people on this blog I would feel totally comfortable meeting in person and sitting and having coffee with! You don't like coffee though, do ya? Ok, fine..tea!
Windi is also right when she says to forget those other people. The ones who make you feel like you don't fit in and are better than you. Remember that clique in school? GAH! I hated those girls.
There are many people here who love you and want you as a friend. Focus on USSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!! We are your FRIENDS!
OMG ... I can't stop crying now you people...
ReplyDeleteI have so so so much to say here .... omg ---- where to start...
ReplyDeleteOk, first I LUV all of you - you are like my BFF's for EVER. Thank you.
ReplyDeletesECond, I didn't write that to get some sence of acceptance or something ... I didn't write it for attention ... that is just not me.... ok ??
but OMG... I totally LUV all of your brutal honesty's um, Windi imparticular of course ... you all so GET me and I didn't think anyone did.
There isn't just one thing ya'll said that I can point out - there are so many things I want to say.
I have closed my page to contacts only, but most of you know WHO I was buggin' about ... I just LUV when everyone is friends with everyone, and no "cliques" are in this world .. but that will never happen ...... and I am soooooooo over it now.
Please know I feel better and throughout the day I will have you all in my heart. I also blocked the people irritating me .. and as far as I am concerned I will not let them bring me down or have any ... and I mean ANY contact with them.
I LUV you guys ... you made me feel so much better.. I thank you all so much.
Oh my - my heart is so full right now :O)
I am the only one who can set myself free ... lets just say that.
OMG !!! I. LUV. IT !!!!!
ReplyDeleteEXACTLY !!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Here's one of my FAVORITE quotes and I'm passing it to you to live by....
ReplyDeletegood for you! Now, let's get on with having fun! :)
ReplyDeletefor my friends.....
ReplyDelete<<>> we love you girl!
ReplyDeleteI agree with what everyone has said on here! Especially leece! I would so feel comfortable around you! I know I could be myself and not pretend to be someone that I am not to make you like me! You are you and I love ya for that! I love reading your blogs and coming to your page! Its such a cool page! Just be you! You are great! I am not sure what started all of this but Don't be hard on yourself! Over one persons ignorance! I really wish we lived closer to each other! Have a wonderful day! hugs!~
ReplyDeleteI agree with everyone else. You should feel comfortable with all the friends here. I echo both Leece and Tammie's words of encouragement. They put it so much better than I could but I feel the same way:)
ReplyDeleteI also echo Windi and Leece...that pretty much sums up what i was thinking!
ReplyDeleteYou are a good friend...and I have made that decision based on you coming by to say hi to me ALL the time...reading each other's blogs, actually caring what happens in each others lives..your humor, your strength and your honesty....
I am glad you are not going to let anyone ruin anything for you. If someone doesnt want to be friends that's really THEIR choice..we dont always understand but we have to respect the other persons wishes. The girls were right..there are SO many people out there that ARE willing to be friends...
Anyway I SHOULD be exercising while K is at her friends house so I am going to get that over with...i have a baby shower at work tonight...that i dont want to go too! LOL
Hope you have a good evening!
Hey, chin up, woman! You can't please all the people, all of the time, you know?
ReplyDeletePart of life is that we won't click with everyone we meet. Don't take it to heart, it's OK!
Those people are not "friends" who made you feel so bad. I think your a great person.
ReplyDeleteYou have gotten some great advice already. Not everyone is gonna like everyone..and ya can't do anything to change that. No one can make you feel anything that you don't allow them. Windi said it the best. Don't let anyone bring you down. If someone doesn't want to be your friend..well that's their choice and it doesn't mean there's anything wrong with you..not everyone clicks. You've got plenty friends here that care!
ReplyDelete