Today, (Nov. 3rd) at 3:33 am I will be 35. (How did that happen anyway ? - I feel so old !)
My BD has never been a big deal. Atleast, I don't like it to be !
As a kid I can remember a few parties - My birthday was always shared with others though, never a day for just me. My sister Dawn's birthday was the day after mine, but she was 10 years older then I was. My Grandma's birthday was on the 7th, and my cousin Gary's (brother more or less) was on the 12th. So together, we always had a big party and in the event we didn't it was Dawn and I.
The first birthday party I remember was when I was 4. (1978) My sister was 14. It was at the Lowell High School Pool and I think I had one friend whilst she had - knowing my sister - the whole 8th grade. I can remember innertubes and the place having brown walls and a HUGE diving board at that time. By the time I went to school there, the DB was gone and the walls were light blue. Funny how I choose the weirdest things to remember.
The second birthday party I can remember was probably in 1981. So I would have been turning 7. My sister was wearing white overalls and we played games at my house on 177th street in Lowell. My mom hid prizes in the hall closet. I remember one girl couldn't stay and one went home early. I had a fit because I lost some games.. ha ha.
Moving on, 1982, my sister I think had been on one of her moving out things, and I had a BD party at a roller rink. I remember what I wore, some friends that came, but that is about it.
1983 - I think I had a sleepover. Probably the only one I ever had with more then one person allowed to come. By this time I had moved into my sisters 'bigger' room, thus why I think it was allowed.
1984 - Birthday party at McDonalds in Lowell. I remember that my niece Heather came and she was about 6 months old. I was so excited about that.
The last party I can ever remember having was one where I had invited a bunch of people , I had picked out some fun things to do and rainbow plates/napkins. It was probably 1985 or 6 -ish. Middle school time anyway. NO ONE showed, and ever since then I have made it a point that my birthday was not any kind of big deal.
I think Adam made a big deal about my BD the first year we were married, but I prolly acted like an ass, so he has never done anything much since ... lol.
I hate talking about my birthday and whenever someone gives me something, I hate recieving it. I don't know how to recieve anything Graciously - I would rather GIVE than to recieve, but that is just me. I feel so freaking embarrassed when someone gives me something. People look at me and I always turn red. I do that even with cards or if someone mentions this gay day. I guess it is a good thing I never really had showers of any kind. lol.
Oh well, don't feel bad if you wished me a good day, I just don't happen to like it. I don't like that attention. I don't know why. Maybe it is because I just hate memories.
I tried to find some pix from the past of me, but most (besides yearly school photos) I have destroyed, so sorry I can't share. Above pic I found tho is one of the few left I found of Gary at my Grandma's house when my Grandpa passed, so I wanted it. It is me, Gary, Nikki (both cousins - more like bro and sister) my Grandma and my Mom. I think this was the very last pic of us taken, all together again. My Grandma passed that next year and Gary a few years after, hit by a car.
Oh well, hope you enjoyed some of the things rumbling around in my brain. lol.
Reading this reminded me of something. I was watching the Duggar's this afternoon and it was the episode where they were helping a family build an addition on their house. Michelle said that the lady they were helping out was always the one helping others and now she needed to learn how to be a gracious receiver, something we all need to be sometimes. Happy Birthday in advance!
ReplyDeleteSue, I know. I have alot of trouble with it tho. LOL. U know I love the Duggars !
ReplyDeleteThat's neat that you can remember all those birthdays.
ReplyDeleteI won't wish you happy birthday I'll just say Happy Tuesday
Tomorrow is your Bday? RIght? I know that you say you don't want a fuss but I think deep down we all want to feel a little special and loved on our birthday. I hope that you have a nice day tomorrow Tammie!
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing the picture!
Hope you have a great day tomorrow!
ReplyDeleteHappy Birthday
ReplyDeleteI think Birthdays should always be a big deal. Not the number, mind you. But the day. A birthday is our special day, and it needs acknowledgement. I can relate to the sharing of the birthday. My sister's birthday is 13 days after mine, and my grandpa's was 11 days after mine. Family birthday parties were always for the 3 of us. In fact, it was such a tradition, that our birthdays in 2008, the first after grandpa died, were incredibly difficult for both my sister and myself.
ReplyDeleteAccepting gifts gracefully is an art and a mindset. I have to work on it myself. Not because I don't like gifts...I LOVE gifts. More because I lack some tack at times, and have trouble accepting gifts I have no practical use for. (Santa champagne flutes? Seriously?)
Try this. You said you'd rather give than recieve. Why is that? Does it make you feel good to see them happy? (It does me. I love putting in the effort to find the perfect gift and then see the person's delight when they open it.) So...ok, try this then. When someone gives you a gift, instead of looking at it as they're making a big deal out of this or drawing attention to you...think of your response as your gift to them. Think of a smile and a "thank you, I know just how I can use this," as you giving them the pleasure of giving you a gift. Does that sound workable?
And the happiest of birthdays to you.
After reading this blog, I can totally see why you don't enjoy birthdays. They were rarely ever special just for you, and so you grew up thinking it isn't all that special. I know how you feel. I didn't have birthday parties growing up. I don't know why. However, we did get to choose the dinner meal and dessert for our birthdays, and I know I received gifts. However, thinking back, there is not one childhood birthday that I remember at all. I have seen one picture of myself and a step sister with cakes on our laps in a photo with my siblings and some neighbor kids. That's it! As we grew older, my parents would give me a card, but no presents unless it was a trinket of some sort. And that's okay.
ReplyDeleteFor my children, we can't do a big party every year for each of them, but we give them a party once every few years that has all of the bells and whistles! I have continued the tradition of allowing the birthday girl to choose all food choices for meals that day, and we have presents from their siblings and usually something from us. If it is a big party...that is their gift from us, LOL. Plus, they receive gifts from their grandparents too.
Just an interesting tidbit for you though...in researching the origins of Christmas, we learned that there are only two birthday celebrations discussed in the Bible. Both of them were for wicked men and ended with murder. One of the examples of how Christmas is NOT about Jesus' birth at all. God never ordained for us to remember Christ's birth. That has all been fabricated by the early Roman church in order to "Christianize" a pagan festival on December 25th. The date was to celebrate the birth of the sun god, not the Son of God. So anyway, my point being that birthday celebrations don't have to be a big deal.
That said, I still hope you have a very happy day today!!
Oh, and I agree with chalicat that accepting gifts is a learned art. I think a lot of women experience that desire to give rather than receive. That's all we do is give and give of ourselves until we barely have anything left to give, LOL. (then we get all grouchy about it, and it really is our own fault!) However, the joy your children feel in giving you a gift is worth the awkwardness of having to receive it gracefully. There is nothing worse for a child to be so excited to give something, only to have it rejected or not received as if it were the best gift in the world. I know, as I have made the mistake of being selfish really in not wanting to accept a gift, or to seem disappointed by it. It wounds their little hearts. :(
ReplyDeleteSo~I've had to learn to want gifts actually. Not out of selfishness, but out of love for my girls who desire to show me their love in a small way. It is so sweet!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY MY FRIEND
ReplyDeleteHappy Birthday....meant only to say that I am thinking of you on this day and not trying to disrespect your dislike of your birthday.
ReplyDeleteI hope you had a nice day anyways! Luv ya girl!
ReplyDeleteI hope you enjoyed your birthday. I know Jesus was excited for you:)
ReplyDelete