Today is just a little (sorta) entry here to let you all know how I am doing.
Well, it is still so cold here, no heat and I am freezing ! Last night was so windy and the wind ripped thru the walls like a hurricane, almost imbearable, but we're still all here. lol. I try not to focus on it too much so that it don't bug me and I do not want to talk about it alot because it is negative and I don't want to bring others down...
Yesterday, I was finally able to get all the small re-occuring annoying bills paid, (you know phone, dish, small cards like JCPenney's and stuff.) I didn't have enough money to do all my bills, or to pay the electric, gas or house payment again...but thankfully I will be going to do our taxes in a bit here today and am GREATLY praying that we get alot back for our refund so that I can get everything caught up to where it needs to be and then some...not to mention get some heat ! Hallelujiah ... I will never take heat for granted again, that is for sure ! I have been so nervous and stressed out about these bills and praying so hard ... It certainly will be good to have that out of my way !
It is funny, a few months ago all we could focus on was having this house for our own, so We did want to use our tax refund to fix up our new house,putting in a new bathroom and stuff, etc. however, after talking to Adam I think that we've both mutually decided now that this place here in "Wisconsuck" (ha ha ha) is not for us. We both are really hating the cold and really would love to go someplace warm. So, after Adam comes back from Germany he is going to see what he has to do - to get us out of here....that is so good as I have never really liked it here anyway ! The people are do odd and I would be so happy to get orders to a warmer place!
Well, I have come to the realization that since Adam has been gone for Germany that I must be quite mean or stressed out sometimes, and I am sorry for that dear Adam. I know that I am not perfect, and while I thought that I wouldn't miss you at all, it actually turns out that I do miss you and will be glad when you get back home. Funny too how that works out...we don't realize what is here in front of us, until it isn't here anymore. Sure I know that everyone has bad days, days that suck and that no one is perfect, but I really had begun to think that the problems here all lye in his fault, but I know I was wrong. It does take two...so for me to think otherwise is pretty abserd and selfish in it's own rights. I guess that is all just part of life though.
I am hoping that we can now grow together differently, ya'll who know me know that I have recently taken the lord into my heart again and I pray that it will make a great differance in all of us here. I really have alot of admiration for the Duggar family, who are a big christian family here in the US....I know my family won't be that big ...I just reallly appriciate thier unity and togetherness for eachother and that is how I would like my family to be as well.
I must be doing something right, Brittany is voluntarilly going to Bible study tonight and Hannah has hers at Sunday school. They actually like it and that makes me happy, this was something that I should have done years ago, and I greatly regret NOT doing so. Next year I will be homeschooling the kids and I think that it will help a great deal with the attitudes that they bring home from the other kids as well as bring us closer together as a family. I was so glad that Adam and I decided that together. I certainly feel that is a step in the right direction !
Well, my son Cameron is about ready to have a fit if I don't get up and go feed him (feeding time at the zoo)...lol, so I will go for now and I will write more later !
Take Care all, Much Love.....TAMMIE :)
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